Musician's Widow

A question I get a lot is, “So what DO you do?” Answering that question tends to stump me a bit. How do I explain what I do exactly when its kind of all over the board?

Then, I recently got introduced to the title “Virtual Assistant” and I went, “AH HA! THAT’S what I do!” My problem is two-fold: I don’t have enough jobs and what jobs I do have tend to end up being for free. This is head meeting keyboard, over and over again. I love what I do. I can easily make a living doing what I want to do. People do it all the time! My problem for awhile now has been having a hard time explaining what I do, and within that conveying that I should get paid to do it.

So here I am to explain what I do, and within that say, “I am at your service!”

First off, I have my degree in Journalism. I have a serious love for writing, photography and page design. All of these were easily wrapped up in my journo degree, and I am proud to say I found a knack for it! I actually held an award-winning column when I worked at a newspaper, and this blog has become my continuation of that column. My readership is definitely up, and I hope people enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it.

I am a blogger.

I aim to be starting on a book proposal within the next couple of weeks to pitch. I have an interest in fiction writing, but I have a non-fiction book hanging out over my shoulder poking me with its sharp edge going, “Write me! Write me NOW!”

GOAL: Pitch my book to agents and preferably have one secured by the end of the year. There is absolutely NO reason why this is not an attainable goal.

I design flyers, business cards, and any other various items. I’ve designed laminates, postcards, programs and invitations as well. A few samples of my work:

See more in this Facebook photo album. I guess its pretty obvious, I’m proud of my work. Note that I use my own photos on a majority of my work.

I’ve also designed and handled various web-sites. I don’t do anything super fancy, though. Not to downplay my work! I am proud of what I have done! I’ve even successfully converted one site into a Wordpress Blog that’s increased its traffic and usefulness. However, I don’t do anything with Flash, etc. I’m still fairly basic in my web-page design work, but I also think that sometimes basic is all you need. I also have done MySpace pages. I feel those are on their way out of favor, but I am still very comfortable working in that venue.

Some of my sites:

My husband’s MySpace Page || Fiddle & Steel Guitar Bar MySpace Page

Trim Polish || From the Ground Up (BRAND NEW… VERY rough site. WIP)

Middle Tennessee Texas A&M Club || Schoppe’s Bookkeeping & Tax Service, Inc

I write and edit letters and email. This can be personal or business.  I’ve taken technical writing courses, and I do have the knowledge for how to put together business letters. I have recently handled multiple cease and desist letters, cover letters, and other correspondence between an agency and their clients.

Everything is guaranteed to be completely confidential.

I also offer the ability to send out Electronic Blasts, which are basically full-color flyers and announcements sent via email using your own mailing list.

I also offer any number of typical office-assistant services. Excel spreadsheets, word documents, fax cover sheets, etc. are something I can handle.

I already offer many of these services to various people, but up until now its been on a more casual level. I plan to soon have a full web-site with all of this information available, along with price lists. If you are interested in any of these services, though, please drop me an email!! With email, fax, Paypal, etc. I work with anyone any where. Most of my current clients are still based out of Texas!

Feels good to put together “on paper,” finally, “This is what I do.” Its the first step on making this truly take off!

When I was in high school, I was very lucky to have parents that could be very involved. They were right there helping with the band all through football season. They attended countless events with me. I rarely had to ride the bus home from any given number of things, because they could come pick me up and get me home hours ahead of the rest.

They were able to do this, because they were (and still are!) self-employed. Running their own business allowed them the flexibility to adjust their schedule as necessary to attend things with me. (Well, things that didn’t land between January and April 15th, aka “tax season.” More on this later.) They didn’t have to ask a boss for time off, nor did they have to negotiate with a co-worker to “trade shifts” with them. No, they simply had to make up the time spent away from work at another time.

I think it was this flexibility that I witnessed with my parents is a big part of my determination to create the same lifestyle for myself. I want to be there for my kids when we have them, especially with the far-from-normal work schedule my husband has. I don’t want to pay for daycare. I don’t want to answer to “the man.” I want to to rely strictly on myself to make my living.

It’s a little scary, though! There is no guaranteed paycheck at the end of the week or two weeks. There is no guaranteed work ahead of me the next day. There is only the work I pursue and that I make happen for myself. If I fail, I can blame no one but myself. If I succeed, I can take credit for it myself and thank those around me for having patience with me and for cheering me on this path.

Within that, though, there are a couple of concepts that I think can be hard for others to understand sometimes. The biggest of those, that I want to talk about tonight, is the discipline necessary to work from home.

It’s very easy to get wrapped up in housework or other personal projects, leaving the paying work to wait for another day. However, leaving that work for another day means you’re even further from being paid and you’re closer to losing a client.

I’ve discovered that for me, personally, I need a solid game plan for each day that I work. A list of goals to accomplish along with a set amount of time I must focus on work. If I got over that time frame, great! But I can’t not put in x-number of hours in the day. Otherwise, its too easy to suddenly put the job completely on the back burner.

Along with getting wrapped up in housework is this: “Well you work from home. You have time to do that.” or, “Well, you can go do that. Its not like you have to ask off from a boss.”

Remember what I said about my parent’s being there for me through the years? The latter claim is true. You don’t have to ask off from a boss. You are your own boss, and within that you have to weigh your own ability to take time off. You have to ask yourself for time off, in a way!

Tax Season, for my parents, is the time of year that as their own boss they tell themselves, “You can’t take that time off.” April 15th is a solid, hard deadline that they must make if they want to keep their clients happy, and, within that, stay in business.

I often tell my husband that I have personal deadlines set each day/week/month that I must accomplish. When we have a lot of things we want to go and do in a week, I have to figure out how to juggle those deadlines and determine if I can afford to take the time off to go out. Oftentimes, its not a problem to make adjustments and go. Especially since I am such a night owl and can easily work through the night. However, there are times when I have to say, “No, I can’t go do that.”

Tonight is one of those nights. There is an event going on downtown that I’ve looked forward to for almost a month. But I’m sitting here tonight, looking at the list of projects on my desk (especially looking at the ones I’ve had to keep putting at the bottom of the list for months!) wondering if I can truly afford to go. Not only is the cost of going a factor, but the lost hours as well.

So here is where the hardest part of being self employed comes in: keeping the discipline to get the job done versus following the urge to go play instead. I choose to follow my discipline and get the job done; there will be more nights to go play ahead whereas there is only one deadline to make.

My little vacation ended as of today. For the last week, I unplugged heavily and enjoyed having my parents visit. I continued to post in my various locations — Facebook, Twitter, here, etc. — but if anyone pays much attention they probably noticed that my volume of interaction decreased dramatically. That was because I wanted to enjoy my company. I wanted to live in the moment more. I loved it.

However, today, my parents headed home to Texas. Last I talked to my mom, they were over half-way home. I’m always sad to see them leave, and I know they aren’t ever in a hurry to go either. But that’s a good thing! I’d hate it if they couldn’t wait to leave! That would be a serious bummer and would throw off all kinds of alarm bells.

No, it is just time to get back to work. They have their business to run, and I have my own to continue to build. While they were here, we did nail down a lot of projects I’ve had lined up to tackle. When I finish this post, I plan to pull out a spiral notebook and really outline my various projects. Outline my goals. Outline a game plan.

I am a HUGE fan of to do lists these days. It’s too easy to let things slide without a list, or its too easy to let little projects come ahead of big projects because you don’t realize the massiveness of those projects.

Like I said, I am always sad to say good bye to my parents. I have this incredible relationship with them that I cherish deeply. It was fun to take an impromptu vacation at home, and it was good for me to let my hair down and put my worries and stresses aside.Now I feel more prepared to move forward with a clearer head and clearer mission. I had said that I was letting August be like a new start for me, and it really has been! I’m running with that, and keeping a positive focus on everything.

When you deal with the general public in any form, be it by your job or you’re just that big of a social butterfly, you’re going to run into them. The Entitled. Those people who believe everything is to stop when they enter or that any sort of idea of personal space does not apply to them.

I’ve dealt with many Entitled people. Some of them I actually find funny. Others leave me with my blood boiling.

One such Entitled came up to me one night while working at the hot dog stand. This gentleman came up, ordered a hot dog with mustard, and then proceeded to go sit down at a booth across the bar and wait. Now, see, a hot dog with mustard will take me a maximum of about 30 seconds to put together. So this mans ability to move that fast was impressive and absurd. I stared. In disbelief.

However, I take him his hot dog, tell him how much it is, and he proceeded to request salt, relish and extra napkins. Uhm. See. The idea of a hot dog stand is you make your order, you get it there, and then you go to your seat. Occasionally when its an order that will take longer, I’ll happily deliver to your table. Its not delivery that I minded. It was the attitude of the man, and the idea that he felt I was supposed to wait on him the entire time he was there. Never mind that I had other orders.

Ultimately, I brought him what he asked for, but refused to leave until I got my only salt shaker back, and was left with… absolutely no tip and annoyance. The Entitled had struck.

Another such Entitled was probably  not so much as Entitled as just not thinking. But I still group them as an Entitled.

While working at my parent’s tax office last year, I was helping a woman with her tax information. I had to get something from my desk which is behind the counter we have at the door to log people in, etc. So I go behind the counter and my desk, grab what I need, and turn only to find the women right behind me. Behind my desk. Behind the counter. Uhh… what?

People are amazed that we actually had to put a small swinging door and large sign up stating the area behind the counter is “employees only.” In most cases, people know not to go into a personal working area. But to those that are Entitled, it does not matter. They will go wherever they please, any time they please.

Similarly, we’ve had to put up other doors to attempt to keep clients from other private areas. Attempt being the operative word. It doesn’t always work. Because those that are Entitled, see nothing wrong with walking into private offices at any time. Because, after all, THEY have arrived. Everything needs to stop for them. They take the idea of “the customer is always right” to the next level.

Well, I’m here to say… keeping the customer happy is job one. But the customer? They aren’t always right. Especially Even if they are as Entitled.

I still remember my dad doing tax returns out of our living room when I was a kid. He had a full-time job during the day, but would do returns in the evenings between January and April 15th.

As the years passed, the living room office turned into a separate building, and the full-time job for both Mom and Dad became the family business. By the time I was in high school, I was used to having them able to attend countless events due to the flexibility of self-employment. However, in the same breath, I coined myself the term “Tax Season Orphan” as through tax season, I was used to their putting in long hours at work.

I would help out at the office regularly. Sometimes filing. Sometimes shredding papers. Sometimes data input. Sometimes just running errands. I could really truthfully say I’ve worked at the office since high school, its just been a bit sporadic.

I swore I wouldn’t do anything dealing with math, and my love for writing sent me to a Journalism degree. I worked at a newspaper for a year and a half, and, of course, I’ve married and moved to Nashville. Nonetheless, I have continued to help out using my degree for advertising, designing the web-site, etc.

Last year, I spent most of tax season in Texas working at the family business. My husband and I joked that it was my turn to be on the road for work, like he usually is doing his job. I would spend three weeks in Texas, one week in Nashville, and then do it all over again. All the way through tax season.

It worked out nicely! My parents didn’t have to hire and train a new employee, and I was happy to have the work. So, it was pretty much a no-brainer to do it again this year.

Today was my first day in the office for this tax season.

My husband and I drove down to Texas last week, as he has a show in Houston anyway. I was able to come see him at work for the show, and we got to spend a few extra days together going into the season.

He left back for Nashville yesterday, and I teased him that he was a Tax Season Widower.

It is what it is, and we’re good at the long-distance thing. For the next three months, I’m the Musician’s Widow married to the Tax Season Widower. We’re a pair, aren’t we? I think the time apart makes us appreciate our time together all the more… and that makes me grateful.

So here we go! Most of my time in Texas, with trips to Nashville in between. Let the “Tax Season Shuffle” begin!

“Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go.”
— T.S. Eliot

I’ve decided to participate in NaNoWriMo this year. I signed up for it last year, but never even attempted to do it. This year, I’m going to do it.

In November, I am going to attempt to write a 50,000-word novel.

No. I’m GOING to write a 50,000-word novel in a month. Not attempt. I will do it.

This has really made me think about the need to push my personal boundaries. I like to sit in my personal little bubble a little too much sometimes. I doubt I am the only person guilty of doing that. However, it is high time I push a little further out into my interests and test my abilities.

I had a short story published in a college literary journal.

In writing, I consider myself a short story writer. Perhaps that is part of what I like about the Journalistic style of writing. Wham! Bam! Here’s the deal! Got it? Ok! Move on!

I like short stories that I can tell a story, give a message, and then end it within a few pages. Wrap it all up in a few hours. Something about that appeals to me.

A huge The X-Files fan back in the day, I delved into the world of Fan Fiction. I wrote stories using the pre-set characters from the show. It’s a little embarrassing to go back and read some of those stories, but at the same time I could see an advance in my writing as I composed story after story.

When I was in college, I took a writing class. It was an on-line class, and I never met a single one of my classmates. However, we would share stories and poetry each week based on prompts left by our professor on an online forum. We would critique each other’s compositions. We learned by doing. We learned by reading. We never met in a classroom, but I learned a lot that semester. We were told that all of our assignments were being considered for submission into the school’s literary journal that year.

One week, I found myself completely without the time to write a short story for my assignment. I’d had one fan fiction story receive a lot of praise, so I pulled it out, dusted it off and reworked it to feature characters all my own. With a deep breath, I submitted it. Wouldn’t you know, it was that story that got published! I have a few copies of that journal as a keepsake. My first published work of fiction.

That was about 8 years ago now. I’ve remained in my comfort zone of news articles and journal or blog posts. “Short stories” that I can churn out quickly. Wham! Bam! Here’s the deal! Got it? Ok! Move on!

I’ve talked a lot about some day writing a book. I’ve had people tell me I SHOULD write a book. But the fact of the matter is that it has always seemed like this huge mountain that I was afraid to climb. I’d say, “Someday.” But in reality, deep down I didn’t believe I’d ever have the patience to do it.

I’m really not sure why, but in the last few weeks I decided the time has come to push my comfort zone out. To try my hand at a novel. To try to tell a story much further in depth with character development, multiple events, and a “problem” to be solved in the course of 100+ pages.

Never one to go into anything unprepared, I have a month to figure out exactly what the heck I’ve gotten myself into. I’ve checked out a book, Novel Shortcuts by Laura Whitcomb, to give me some insight into what to expect and how best to handle my new project. I plan to check out other books after I finish this one. I’m reading every article available on the NaNoWriMo site. I’m a sponge, soaking up information, so that come November 1st I can wring myself out and hopefully come up with a novel.

The novel might eventually just take up dust on my hard drive. It might some day find its way to publication. Or it might just become a Christmas present for my closest friends and family to humor me and maybe read it. That part doesn’t matter to me right now. What matters is that I do this.

Similarly, I’m pushing my boundaries in site development. I’m reworking a web-site from the bottom-up, and I’ll be honest: its a daunting and somewhat terrifying task! I’m going into programing styles that go over my head, and as a result I’m taking baby steps. I’d like to say that in a few days I’ll unveil this magical site. The fact is, in a few days I’ll unveil a site that I’ll be tweaking with and learning about over the next several months. It’s nerve wracking!

But its ALL exciting. Pushing my boundaries creatively in multiple areas is exciting! My Project 365 has pushed my boundaries photographically. This blog alone has pushed my writing skills to where I am ready to sign up to be a contributor at other sites (more on that at a later date) and giving me the confidence to even consider NaNoWriMo. This blog, too, is what is pushing me to redo the web-site. Learning WordPress is daunting, but I’ve been loving and continue to love every minute.

I’ve always believed you should never stop learning, and I like to think I never have. However, right now I am feeling the urge and need to amp up my learning. Great things have always come from hard work and taking a risk. Its my time to do just that. Take a risk and do some hard work.

I joked tonight that I’ve lived in Nashville too long when a movie being filmed outside my place of work annoyed me instead of leaving me excited. I say that about running into singers, actors, etc. as well because on a whole I really have just come to take it in stride. (Though I have to confess, George Strait made me totally freeze up and start stuttering and lose a great opportunity to possibly meet him, but some day maybe the chance will return. Doubtful. But maybe.)

I do think the whole Hollywood thing is pretty exciting. And there is a true mystique and fascination that exists around the whole TV and movie making process. I admit to getting wrapped up in it on occasion myself. Getting to participate in making the new Lee Ann Womack video was pretty incredible.

But twice in my life, Hollywood has made me throw my hands up in the air and want to scream in frustration.

My first Hollywood experience was actually in little ol’ Marlin , Texas, in 2005 when they used the Falls County Courthouse to film a lot of scenes for the movie Infamous whose cast included Sandra Bullock and Sigourney Weaver. I was working at the town’s newspaper at that time, and of course this was the biggest news to hit Marlin in probably almost 20 years. (Well, the biggest bit of positive news.)

They filmed inside the courthouse and outside the courthouse. For exterior scenes, they put out a call for classic cars to line the streets around the courthouse. To be honest, the cars got me more excited than the stars, but then that’s just how I roll.

Dawg.

Whatever.

On the afternoon that they filmed some of the exterior scenes, I went out to try to get a few photos for the next week’s issue. I was careful to stay OUT of the way, but before long I was sniffed out and scolded to not take any photos due to the need to keep things about the movie confidential. I could respect that fact up to a couple points. One point was the fact that Marlin is a small town that I doubt any entertainment reporters would be picking up our paper to sniff for things about the movie. The other point was the one in which they started to impede my ability to do MY job.

It took awhile, but I did finally get them to leave me alone enough to take pictures of the cars all around the square. One gentleman offered to let me sit in his car and watch from afar, which I gladly accepted as at that point I had to crouch down behind all these cars to stay out of view.

Eventually, the movie was done filming. We ran the photo I took of the cars in the paper. And life moved on…

I never did see the movie. It’s in my Amazon.com wishlist in case anyone cares to buy it for me.

Fast forward four years, and I had my second Hollywood experience. This time, Nashville, TN. Printer’s Alley. My job? Working in one of the bars in the Alley. The filming is going on in the bar next to the one at which I work, but it somewhat disrupts things in the whole Alley.

Now, understand, when I heard days ago about a movie being filmed in the Alley, I got excited about how much great PR this could mean for it. Perhaps seeing our Alley in a movie would bring visitors next year?

However, going into the night I was already in a bad mood, but it didn’t take long for the bad mood to sour further. I quickly felt like I couldn’t do my job properly lest I cause some sort of problem between “Quiet! Filming!” barks and worrying about how our band would be able to load in their gear. Ultimately, I wanted to do my job, while they did theirs, but struggled with how to do just that.

Again.

And I have to admit. That frustrated me. I believe my exact phrase was “Pain in the a–, huh?” to my husband as he pulled in to unload his gear to play.

I often get this exact same frustration from tourists who seem to forget that while Nashville is a tourism-centric city, it’s also home to many people. We’re happy to have you here. But please don’t stop us from living our lives; doing our jobs.

Chances are tomorrow night I’ll have my third experience, as apparently filming will be again occurring in the Alley. I don’t know if that will go into the night and overlap with my time there. But, the chance is there. And I can’t say that it excites me.

Call it a pessimistic approach to the experience if you want.

Me? I call it an experienced approach to it.

Because that’s how I roll.

Dawg.

Whatever.