Musician's Widow

Growing up, I can’t count how many times I truly saw snow. Because the number of times is so small.

No, in Texas, we would get ice. For maybe two days. Then its over. But as for snow? Its just so RARE. We would get excited to make a 9 inch tall snow man if we could gather enough flakes to do it. I remember in 7th grade my history teacher letting the class go outside to play in some random snow flurries.

Like I said, snow was rare. Ice was not. The house I grew up in had a ramp on the back deck. When it would ice over, and we’d get a snow day from school, my brother and I would bundle up, put on our cowboy boots and take turns sliding down the ramp. Who needed skis or ice skates when you’ve got a well iced deck ramp and cowboy boots. We’d slide until our fingers and toes were numb and our noses bright red. Then we’d come inside and have hot chocolate. For awhile we had a wood heater, and we’d roast marshmallows. A level of heaven I’ve not re-visited to date.

2008 - Oregon

As a result of growing up with ice in the winter, I’ve developed a solid fear of driving when there is any sort of frozen precipitation on the ground. I have no clue how to manage it, and as a result I will happily stay home for days at a time to keep myself and my vehicle in one piece. I know I can’t drive in it. I’m not even going to try!

Moving to Nashville introduced me to an area in which snow is not as unusual, but also an area where no one else can drive in it either.In the last three and a half years, I’ve seen more snow than I’d seen in my 26 years prior to moving. Between snow in Nashville, snow in Portland, OR Christmas 2008, snow in the Smoky Mountains, and snow in Dallas, TX just last month… I’m caught up in my snow quota, I think!

But, here I am in Central Texas with family, and we have a chance of snow tomorrow. Yes you heard me. SNOW.

On the news, they showed people stocking up at the grocery store as if they would be snowed in for days. I had to chuckle, as we’re expected to be in the 50s in a couple days. Snowed in, we will not be.

People in Nashville panic in the same manner. Regularly, bread shelves will be completely empty at the first chance of snow. And it forever baffles me! Whether I am in Texas or in Nashville, the chances of a snow storm leaving a person stranded at home for multiple days is slim. I don’t understand the panic that occurs in these areas at the thought of white flakes falling from the sky.

I don’t discount the dangers that can occur in heavy snowfall. Driving in dangerous conditions being only a portion of the worries. Loss of electricity and warmth is one of the biggest fears. Broken water pipes being another. I acknowledge these with respect.

However, this snow chance today in Central Texas just makes me shake my head. It was 70 only two days ago. It’ll be in the 50s in two more days. Panic has no need to set in here. Relax. Take your time should road conditions get bad. And don’t lose your head and logic.

I still have a lot of fear of driving on ice. I still prefer to stay home when winter weather sets in. However, I’ve seen enough snow lately to take it with a little grain of salt. Its still magical to see and experience to me. I still turn into a kid when it snows. I still respect it and the dangers it can bring. However, if you’ll respect it and not lose perspective, you should be able to enjoy it without fear.

Noon edit: Okay, so they were right. Its snowing quite hard and has been for a few hours. I’m amazed and baffled! Most snow since 1982!

My parent's dog playing in the snow.

I still remember my dad doing tax returns out of our living room when I was a kid. He had a full-time job during the day, but would do returns in the evenings between January and April 15th.

As the years passed, the living room office turned into a separate building, and the full-time job for both Mom and Dad became the family business. By the time I was in high school, I was used to having them able to attend countless events due to the flexibility of self-employment. However, in the same breath, I coined myself the term “Tax Season Orphan” as through tax season, I was used to their putting in long hours at work.

I would help out at the office regularly. Sometimes filing. Sometimes shredding papers. Sometimes data input. Sometimes just running errands. I could really truthfully say I’ve worked at the office since high school, its just been a bit sporadic.

I swore I wouldn’t do anything dealing with math, and my love for writing sent me to a Journalism degree. I worked at a newspaper for a year and a half, and, of course, I’ve married and moved to Nashville. Nonetheless, I have continued to help out using my degree for advertising, designing the web-site, etc.

Last year, I spent most of tax season in Texas working at the family business. My husband and I joked that it was my turn to be on the road for work, like he usually is doing his job. I would spend three weeks in Texas, one week in Nashville, and then do it all over again. All the way through tax season.

It worked out nicely! My parents didn’t have to hire and train a new employee, and I was happy to have the work. So, it was pretty much a no-brainer to do it again this year.

Today was my first day in the office for this tax season.

My husband and I drove down to Texas last week, as he has a show in Houston anyway. I was able to come see him at work for the show, and we got to spend a few extra days together going into the season.

He left back for Nashville yesterday, and I teased him that he was a Tax Season Widower.

It is what it is, and we’re good at the long-distance thing. For the next three months, I’m the Musician’s Widow married to the Tax Season Widower. We’re a pair, aren’t we? I think the time apart makes us appreciate our time together all the more… and that makes me grateful.

So here we go! Most of my time in Texas, with trips to Nashville in between. Let the “Tax Season Shuffle” begin!

I’m trying really, really, really hard to be in the Christmas spirit this year. And as I look around me, I see that to be true for so many people this year.

I got laid off last Thursday. Two weeks before Christmas. TWO WEEKS! Now how do you tell a 7-year-old Santa lost his job before he’d finished his shopping? — A friend

It seems like the true pain of the economy has struck many this holiday season. Funds are low. Bills are high. Christmas dreams seem almost impossible to be dreamed. These woes have been fact for many for years, but for others its a new experience. I know I find myself with a deeper appreciation for my ancestors who survived The Great Depression.

As the press spends airtime trying to convince us all that the economy is getting better. That the recession it taking a turn. That its okay to spend money again. I call BS. If anything, now is the time we’re all feeling the pinch more than ever. That the true collapse of our economy has begun to settle, and we’re all looking around at the pieces around us. Pieces that come in the form of bills we can’t pay. Homes that today sit empty. Unemployment numbers that have reached near record highs.

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle in their journey. – Author Unknown

A friend wrote that quote as their status update on Facebook tonight, and that really made me stop and think. It’s very true. We all have our own battles to fight every day. Some are facing potential job loss. Others are trying to find a job. I know of people who have family members in the hospital fighting for their lives. We are still hearing stories of families losing members — children — to the H1N1 flu virus.

We all have our crosses to bear. And in a season in which we’re all encouraged to be a little kinder to each other, it seems that this year that need is a little greater. Smiles need to be a little brighter. Hugs need to hold on a little tighter. Transgressions of the past year need to be forgiven. Time spent counting our many blessings needs to be taken a little more often.

Losing the spirit of the season only hurts you more. I was happy to address and mail Christmas cards, even as I grumbled about the postage hike that made it a little more difficult to afford. I couldn’t pass up participating in a recent “Dirty Santa” game at a Christmas Party… the laughter and friendship that occurs in a game like that is priceless. It’s memories that keep you warm in your heart all year long.

I have been so blessed lately to be surrounded by dear friends, and I look forward to a trip to spend Christmas with family. I can’t wait for midnight mass — a chance to truly remember the reason for this season. And even when life and my own personal “battles” get me down, I’m reminded to take a moment and let this season sink into my heart. It’s a time for joy. For family and friends. For hope. For love. For faith.

Perhaps even for a little magic. Christmas magic. That thing that takes the holiday doldrums and turns them into holiday cheer… I, personally, believe in magic.

Don’t you?

“Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go.”
— T.S. Eliot

I’ve decided to participate in NaNoWriMo this year. I signed up for it last year, but never even attempted to do it. This year, I’m going to do it.

In November, I am going to attempt to write a 50,000-word novel.

No. I’m GOING to write a 50,000-word novel in a month. Not attempt. I will do it.

This has really made me think about the need to push my personal boundaries. I like to sit in my personal little bubble a little too much sometimes. I doubt I am the only person guilty of doing that. However, it is high time I push a little further out into my interests and test my abilities.

I had a short story published in a college literary journal.

In writing, I consider myself a short story writer. Perhaps that is part of what I like about the Journalistic style of writing. Wham! Bam! Here’s the deal! Got it? Ok! Move on!

I like short stories that I can tell a story, give a message, and then end it within a few pages. Wrap it all up in a few hours. Something about that appeals to me.

A huge The X-Files fan back in the day, I delved into the world of Fan Fiction. I wrote stories using the pre-set characters from the show. It’s a little embarrassing to go back and read some of those stories, but at the same time I could see an advance in my writing as I composed story after story.

When I was in college, I took a writing class. It was an on-line class, and I never met a single one of my classmates. However, we would share stories and poetry each week based on prompts left by our professor on an online forum. We would critique each other’s compositions. We learned by doing. We learned by reading. We never met in a classroom, but I learned a lot that semester. We were told that all of our assignments were being considered for submission into the school’s literary journal that year.

One week, I found myself completely without the time to write a short story for my assignment. I’d had one fan fiction story receive a lot of praise, so I pulled it out, dusted it off and reworked it to feature characters all my own. With a deep breath, I submitted it. Wouldn’t you know, it was that story that got published! I have a few copies of that journal as a keepsake. My first published work of fiction.

That was about 8 years ago now. I’ve remained in my comfort zone of news articles and journal or blog posts. “Short stories” that I can churn out quickly. Wham! Bam! Here’s the deal! Got it? Ok! Move on!

I’ve talked a lot about some day writing a book. I’ve had people tell me I SHOULD write a book. But the fact of the matter is that it has always seemed like this huge mountain that I was afraid to climb. I’d say, “Someday.” But in reality, deep down I didn’t believe I’d ever have the patience to do it.

I’m really not sure why, but in the last few weeks I decided the time has come to push my comfort zone out. To try my hand at a novel. To try to tell a story much further in depth with character development, multiple events, and a “problem” to be solved in the course of 100+ pages.

Never one to go into anything unprepared, I have a month to figure out exactly what the heck I’ve gotten myself into. I’ve checked out a book, Novel Shortcuts by Laura Whitcomb, to give me some insight into what to expect and how best to handle my new project. I plan to check out other books after I finish this one. I’m reading every article available on the NaNoWriMo site. I’m a sponge, soaking up information, so that come November 1st I can wring myself out and hopefully come up with a novel.

The novel might eventually just take up dust on my hard drive. It might some day find its way to publication. Or it might just become a Christmas present for my closest friends and family to humor me and maybe read it. That part doesn’t matter to me right now. What matters is that I do this.

Similarly, I’m pushing my boundaries in site development. I’m reworking a web-site from the bottom-up, and I’ll be honest: its a daunting and somewhat terrifying task! I’m going into programing styles that go over my head, and as a result I’m taking baby steps. I’d like to say that in a few days I’ll unveil this magical site. The fact is, in a few days I’ll unveil a site that I’ll be tweaking with and learning about over the next several months. It’s nerve wracking!

But its ALL exciting. Pushing my boundaries creatively in multiple areas is exciting! My Project 365 has pushed my boundaries photographically. This blog alone has pushed my writing skills to where I am ready to sign up to be a contributor at other sites (more on that at a later date) and giving me the confidence to even consider NaNoWriMo. This blog, too, is what is pushing me to redo the web-site. Learning WordPress is daunting, but I’ve been loving and continue to love every minute.

I’ve always believed you should never stop learning, and I like to think I never have. However, right now I am feeling the urge and need to amp up my learning. Great things have always come from hard work and taking a risk. Its my time to do just that. Take a risk and do some hard work.

I joked tonight that I’ve lived in Nashville too long when a movie being filmed outside my place of work annoyed me instead of leaving me excited. I say that about running into singers, actors, etc. as well because on a whole I really have just come to take it in stride. (Though I have to confess, George Strait made me totally freeze up and start stuttering and lose a great opportunity to possibly meet him, but some day maybe the chance will return. Doubtful. But maybe.)

I do think the whole Hollywood thing is pretty exciting. And there is a true mystique and fascination that exists around the whole TV and movie making process. I admit to getting wrapped up in it on occasion myself. Getting to participate in making the new Lee Ann Womack video was pretty incredible.

But twice in my life, Hollywood has made me throw my hands up in the air and want to scream in frustration.

My first Hollywood experience was actually in little ol’ Marlin , Texas, in 2005 when they used the Falls County Courthouse to film a lot of scenes for the movie Infamous whose cast included Sandra Bullock and Sigourney Weaver. I was working at the town’s newspaper at that time, and of course this was the biggest news to hit Marlin in probably almost 20 years. (Well, the biggest bit of positive news.)

They filmed inside the courthouse and outside the courthouse. For exterior scenes, they put out a call for classic cars to line the streets around the courthouse. To be honest, the cars got me more excited than the stars, but then that’s just how I roll.

Dawg.

Whatever.

On the afternoon that they filmed some of the exterior scenes, I went out to try to get a few photos for the next week’s issue. I was careful to stay OUT of the way, but before long I was sniffed out and scolded to not take any photos due to the need to keep things about the movie confidential. I could respect that fact up to a couple points. One point was the fact that Marlin is a small town that I doubt any entertainment reporters would be picking up our paper to sniff for things about the movie. The other point was the one in which they started to impede my ability to do MY job.

It took awhile, but I did finally get them to leave me alone enough to take pictures of the cars all around the square. One gentleman offered to let me sit in his car and watch from afar, which I gladly accepted as at that point I had to crouch down behind all these cars to stay out of view.

Eventually, the movie was done filming. We ran the photo I took of the cars in the paper. And life moved on…

I never did see the movie. It’s in my Amazon.com wishlist in case anyone cares to buy it for me.

Fast forward four years, and I had my second Hollywood experience. This time, Nashville, TN. Printer’s Alley. My job? Working in one of the bars in the Alley. The filming is going on in the bar next to the one at which I work, but it somewhat disrupts things in the whole Alley.

Now, understand, when I heard days ago about a movie being filmed in the Alley, I got excited about how much great PR this could mean for it. Perhaps seeing our Alley in a movie would bring visitors next year?

However, going into the night I was already in a bad mood, but it didn’t take long for the bad mood to sour further. I quickly felt like I couldn’t do my job properly lest I cause some sort of problem between “Quiet! Filming!” barks and worrying about how our band would be able to load in their gear. Ultimately, I wanted to do my job, while they did theirs, but struggled with how to do just that.

Again.

And I have to admit. That frustrated me. I believe my exact phrase was “Pain in the a–, huh?” to my husband as he pulled in to unload his gear to play.

I often get this exact same frustration from tourists who seem to forget that while Nashville is a tourism-centric city, it’s also home to many people. We’re happy to have you here. But please don’t stop us from living our lives; doing our jobs.

Chances are tomorrow night I’ll have my third experience, as apparently filming will be again occurring in the Alley. I don’t know if that will go into the night and overlap with my time there. But, the chance is there. And I can’t say that it excites me.

Call it a pessimistic approach to the experience if you want.

Me? I call it an experienced approach to it.

Because that’s how I roll.

Dawg.

Whatever.