Musician’s Widow

I wonder sometimes if the word “Love” is used too much. I wonder sometimes if I could be accused of doing that myself. Then again, is it possible its not used enough?

I remember before my husband and I used the word “love” towards one another, I wasn’t as free with the word. It’s not that I didn’t feel love; its that I took the word very seriously and refused to use it lightly. I’d tell my family I loved them, and perhaps my absolute closest friends. But past that? Not so much. Over time, though, I was shown by people around me that it is okay to use the word “love” — because I do.

I saw a TV show recently in which someone described a near-death experience. And they said something along the lines of acknowledging that when we die, all we carry with us is the love we gave and received in life. It really got me thinking. Instead of material possessions, shouldn’t we instead be cultivating love in our hearts? After all, it makes sense that it would be the only thing we take with us when we go.

Of course on the other side of things, I suppose that it could be said that an unhappy person takes with them the distress and hate they cultivate. I would think that that alone would be a version of hell. An eternity of hate versus an eternity of love? Give me love. In both life and in death.

Perhaps I do use the word love a little too loosely sometimes. I’ll say I love a certain food or a certain drink, and I suppose in reality “like” would be a more appropriate word in that situation. But somehow, “like” feels like it is holding something back. Like I’m lukewarm about something. Love is just so much stronger and more powerful. Love just brings such wonderful and filling emotions! Why hold back?

I’ve heard it said many times, “Its better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.” Say that to someone with a broken heart and they’ll want to punch you, of course. Love hurts! Love leaves you vulnerable to being let down! Love takes your heart and your very soul to this peak above the clouds where it could fall and be shattered into a million pieces!

Yeah. Been there. Done that. Decided it was a load of bull.

One of my favorite quotes is by George MacDonald, “To be trusted is a greater complement than to be loved.” See, I can be accused of not being trusting. Because I’m not. I don’t trust a majority of people as far as I could throw them. But it doesn’t mean I’m not loving.  Perhaps I’ll explore trust versus love — how they go together just as much as they can be opposing feelings — in a future blog entry.

For now, though, love what you do for a living. Love the people around you. And as hard as it is… love your enemies. At least they keep life interesting. (Ha ha!) Love your health. Love the day you’ve been given. Love a song on the radio.  Cultivate a life filled with love, and it’ll grow from within and transform you.

Love is more than a four letter word. It’s both a noun and a verb. Love truly is the greatest thing of all. Even the Bible tells us so. I think its what we are put here to do, to have, to share. So let that four letter word fly without shame!

You just might grow to LOVE it!

Growing up, I can’t count how many times I truly saw snow. Because the number of times is so small.

No, in Texas, we would get ice. For maybe two days. Then its over. But as for snow? Its just so RARE. We would get excited to make a 9 inch tall snow man if we could gather enough flakes to do it. I remember in 7th grade my history teacher letting the class go outside to play in some random snow flurries.

Like I said, snow was rare. Ice was not. The house I grew up in had a ramp on the back deck. When it would ice over, and we’d get a snow day from school, my brother and I would bundle up, put on our cowboy boots and take turns sliding down the ramp. Who needed skis or ice skates when you’ve got a well iced deck ramp and cowboy boots. We’d slide until our fingers and toes were numb and our noses bright red. Then we’d come inside and have hot chocolate. For awhile we had a wood heater, and we’d roast marshmallows. A level of heaven I’ve not re-visited to date.

2008 - Oregon

As a result of growing up with ice in the winter, I’ve developed a solid fear of driving when there is any sort of frozen precipitation on the ground. I have no clue how to manage it, and as a result I will happily stay home for days at a time to keep myself and my vehicle in one piece. I know I can’t drive in it. I’m not even going to try!

Moving to Nashville introduced me to an area in which snow is not as unusual, but also an area where no one else can drive in it either.In the last three and a half years, I’ve seen more snow than I’d seen in my 26 years prior to moving. Between snow in Nashville, snow in Portland, OR Christmas 2008, snow in the Smoky Mountains, and snow in Dallas, TX just last month… I’m caught up in my snow quota, I think!

But, here I am in Central Texas with family, and we have a chance of snow tomorrow. Yes you heard me. SNOW.

On the news, they showed people stocking up at the grocery store as if they would be snowed in for days. I had to chuckle, as we’re expected to be in the 50s in a couple days. Snowed in, we will not be.

People in Nashville panic in the same manner. Regularly, bread shelves will be completely empty at the first chance of snow. And it forever baffles me! Whether I am in Texas or in Nashville, the chances of a snow storm leaving a person stranded at home for multiple days is slim. I don’t understand the panic that occurs in these areas at the thought of white flakes falling from the sky.

I don’t discount the dangers that can occur in heavy snowfall. Driving in dangerous conditions being only a portion of the worries. Loss of electricity and warmth is one of the biggest fears. Broken water pipes being another. I acknowledge these with respect.

However, this snow chance today in Central Texas just makes me shake my head. It was 70 only two days ago. It’ll be in the 50s in two more days. Panic has no need to set in here. Relax. Take your time should road conditions get bad. And don’t lose your head and logic.

I still have a lot of fear of driving on ice. I still prefer to stay home when winter weather sets in. However, I’ve seen enough snow lately to take it with a little grain of salt. Its still magical to see and experience to me. I still turn into a kid when it snows. I still respect it and the dangers it can bring. However, if you’ll respect it and not lose perspective, you should be able to enjoy it without fear.

Noon edit: Okay, so they were right. Its snowing quite hard and has been for a few hours. I’m amazed and baffled! Most snow since 1982!

My parent's dog playing in the snow.

I still remember my dad doing tax returns out of our living room when I was a kid. He had a full-time job during the day, but would do returns in the evenings between January and April 15th.

As the years passed, the living room office turned into a separate building, and the full-time job for both Mom and Dad became the family business. By the time I was in high school, I was used to having them able to attend countless events due to the flexibility of self-employment. However, in the same breath, I coined myself the term “Tax Season Orphan” as through tax season, I was used to their putting in long hours at work.

I would help out at the office regularly. Sometimes filing. Sometimes shredding papers. Sometimes data input. Sometimes just running errands. I could really truthfully say I’ve worked at the office since high school, its just been a bit sporadic.

I swore I wouldn’t do anything dealing with math, and my love for writing sent me to a Journalism degree. I worked at a newspaper for a year and a half, and, of course, I’ve married and moved to Nashville. Nonetheless, I have continued to help out using my degree for advertising, designing the web-site, etc.

Last year, I spent most of tax season in Texas working at the family business. My husband and I joked that it was my turn to be on the road for work, like he usually is doing his job. I would spend three weeks in Texas, one week in Nashville, and then do it all over again. All the way through tax season.

It worked out nicely! My parents didn’t have to hire and train a new employee, and I was happy to have the work. So, it was pretty much a no-brainer to do it again this year.

Today was my first day in the office for this tax season.

My husband and I drove down to Texas last week, as he has a show in Houston anyway. I was able to come see him at work for the show, and we got to spend a few extra days together going into the season.

He left back for Nashville yesterday, and I teased him that he was a Tax Season Widower.

It is what it is, and we’re good at the long-distance thing. For the next three months, I’m the Musician’s Widow married to the Tax Season Widower. We’re a pair, aren’t we? I think the time apart makes us appreciate our time together all the more… and that makes me grateful.

So here we go! Most of my time in Texas, with trips to Nashville in between. Let the “Tax Season Shuffle” begin!

I’m trying really, really, really hard to be in the Christmas spirit this year. And as I look around me, I see that to be true for so many people this year.

I got laid off last Thursday. Two weeks before Christmas. TWO WEEKS! Now how do you tell a 7-year-old Santa lost his job before he’d finished his shopping? — A friend

It seems like the true pain of the economy has struck many this holiday season. Funds are low. Bills are high. Christmas dreams seem almost impossible to be dreamed. These woes have been fact for many for years, but for others its a new experience. I know I find myself with a deeper appreciation for my ancestors who survived The Great Depression.

As the press spends airtime trying to convince us all that the economy is getting better. That the recession it taking a turn. That its okay to spend money again. I call BS. If anything, now is the time we’re all feeling the pinch more than ever. That the true collapse of our economy has begun to settle, and we’re all looking around at the pieces around us. Pieces that come in the form of bills we can’t pay. Homes that today sit empty. Unemployment numbers that have reached near record highs.

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle in their journey. – Author Unknown

A friend wrote that quote as their status update on Facebook tonight, and that really made me stop and think. It’s very true. We all have our own battles to fight every day. Some are facing potential job loss. Others are trying to find a job. I know of people who have family members in the hospital fighting for their lives. We are still hearing stories of families losing members — children — to the H1N1 flu virus.

We all have our crosses to bear. And in a season in which we’re all encouraged to be a little kinder to each other, it seems that this year that need is a little greater. Smiles need to be a little brighter. Hugs need to hold on a little tighter. Transgressions of the past year need to be forgiven. Time spent counting our many blessings needs to be taken a little more often.

Losing the spirit of the season only hurts you more. I was happy to address and mail Christmas cards, even as I grumbled about the postage hike that made it a little more difficult to afford. I couldn’t pass up participating in a recent “Dirty Santa” game at a Christmas Party… the laughter and friendship that occurs in a game like that is priceless. It’s memories that keep you warm in your heart all year long.

I have been so blessed lately to be surrounded by dear friends, and I look forward to a trip to spend Christmas with family. I can’t wait for midnight mass — a chance to truly remember the reason for this season. And even when life and my own personal “battles” get me down, I’m reminded to take a moment and let this season sink into my heart. It’s a time for joy. For family and friends. For hope. For love. For faith.

Perhaps even for a little magic. Christmas magic. That thing that takes the holiday doldrums and turns them into holiday cheer… I, personally, believe in magic.

Don’t you?

“Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go.”
— T.S. Eliot

I’ve decided to participate in NaNoWriMo this year. I signed up for it last year, but never even attempted to do it. This year, I’m going to do it.

In November, I am going to attempt to write a 50,000-word novel.

No. I’m GOING to write a 50,000-word novel in a month. Not attempt. I will do it.

This has really made me think about the need to push my personal boundaries. I like to sit in my personal little bubble a little too much sometimes. I doubt I am the only person guilty of doing that. However, it is high time I push a little further out into my interests and test my abilities.

I had a short story published in a college literary journal.

In writing, I consider myself a short story writer. Perhaps that is part of what I like about the Journalistic style of writing. Wham! Bam! Here’s the deal! Got it? Ok! Move on!

I like short stories that I can tell a story, give a message, and then end it within a few pages. Wrap it all up in a few hours. Something about that appeals to me.

A huge The X-Files fan back in the day, I delved into the world of Fan Fiction. I wrote stories using the pre-set characters from the show. It’s a little embarrassing to go back and read some of those stories, but at the same time I could see an advance in my writing as I composed story after story.

When I was in college, I took a writing class. It was an on-line class, and I never met a single one of my classmates. However, we would share stories and poetry each week based on prompts left by our professor on an online forum. We would critique each other’s compositions. We learned by doing. We learned by reading. We never met in a classroom, but I learned a lot that semester. We were told that all of our assignments were being considered for submission into the school’s literary journal that year.

One week, I found myself completely without the time to write a short story for my assignment. I’d had one fan fiction story receive a lot of praise, so I pulled it out, dusted it off and reworked it to feature characters all my own. With a deep breath, I submitted it. Wouldn’t you know, it was that story that got published! I have a few copies of that journal as a keepsake. My first published work of fiction.

That was about 8 years ago now. I’ve remained in my comfort zone of news articles and journal or blog posts. “Short stories” that I can churn out quickly. Wham! Bam! Here’s the deal! Got it? Ok! Move on!

I’ve talked a lot about some day writing a book. I’ve had people tell me I SHOULD write a book. But the fact of the matter is that it has always seemed like this huge mountain that I was afraid to climb. I’d say, “Someday.” But in reality, deep down I didn’t believe I’d ever have the patience to do it.

I’m really not sure why, but in the last few weeks I decided the time has come to push my comfort zone out. To try my hand at a novel. To try to tell a story much further in depth with character development, multiple events, and a “problem” to be solved in the course of 100+ pages.

Never one to go into anything unprepared, I have a month to figure out exactly what the heck I’ve gotten myself into. I’ve checked out a book, Novel Shortcuts by Laura Whitcomb, to give me some insight into what to expect and how best to handle my new project. I plan to check out other books after I finish this one. I’m reading every article available on the NaNoWriMo site. I’m a sponge, soaking up information, so that come November 1st I can wring myself out and hopefully come up with a novel.

The novel might eventually just take up dust on my hard drive. It might some day find its way to publication. Or it might just become a Christmas present for my closest friends and family to humor me and maybe read it. That part doesn’t matter to me right now. What matters is that I do this.

Similarly, I’m pushing my boundaries in site development. I’m reworking a web-site from the bottom-up, and I’ll be honest: its a daunting and somewhat terrifying task! I’m going into programing styles that go over my head, and as a result I’m taking baby steps. I’d like to say that in a few days I’ll unveil this magical site. The fact is, in a few days I’ll unveil a site that I’ll be tweaking with and learning about over the next several months. It’s nerve wracking!

But its ALL exciting. Pushing my boundaries creatively in multiple areas is exciting! My Project 365 has pushed my boundaries photographically. This blog alone has pushed my writing skills to where I am ready to sign up to be a contributor at other sites (more on that at a later date) and giving me the confidence to even consider NaNoWriMo. This blog, too, is what is pushing me to redo the web-site. Learning WordPress is daunting, but I’ve been loving and continue to love every minute.

I’ve always believed you should never stop learning, and I like to think I never have. However, right now I am feeling the urge and need to amp up my learning. Great things have always come from hard work and taking a risk. Its my time to do just that. Take a risk and do some hard work.

I joked tonight that I’ve lived in Nashville too long when a movie being filmed outside my place of work annoyed me instead of leaving me excited. I say that about running into singers, actors, etc. as well because on a whole I really have just come to take it in stride. (Though I have to confess, George Strait made me totally freeze up and start stuttering and lose a great opportunity to possibly meet him, but some day maybe the chance will return. Doubtful. But maybe.)

I do think the whole Hollywood thing is pretty exciting. And there is a true mystique and fascination that exists around the whole TV and movie making process. I admit to getting wrapped up in it on occasion myself. Getting to participate in making the new Lee Ann Womack video was pretty incredible.

But twice in my life, Hollywood has made me throw my hands up in the air and want to scream in frustration.

My first Hollywood experience was actually in little ol’ Marlin , Texas, in 2005 when they used the Falls County Courthouse to film a lot of scenes for the movie Infamous whose cast included Sandra Bullock and Sigourney Weaver. I was working at the town’s newspaper at that time, and of course this was the biggest news to hit Marlin in probably almost 20 years. (Well, the biggest bit of positive news.)

They filmed inside the courthouse and outside the courthouse. For exterior scenes, they put out a call for classic cars to line the streets around the courthouse. To be honest, the cars got me more excited than the stars, but then that’s just how I roll.

Dawg.

Whatever.

On the afternoon that they filmed some of the exterior scenes, I went out to try to get a few photos for the next week’s issue. I was careful to stay OUT of the way, but before long I was sniffed out and scolded to not take any photos due to the need to keep things about the movie confidential. I could respect that fact up to a couple points. One point was the fact that Marlin is a small town that I doubt any entertainment reporters would be picking up our paper to sniff for things about the movie. The other point was the one in which they started to impede my ability to do MY job.

It took awhile, but I did finally get them to leave me alone enough to take pictures of the cars all around the square. One gentleman offered to let me sit in his car and watch from afar, which I gladly accepted as at that point I had to crouch down behind all these cars to stay out of view.

Eventually, the movie was done filming. We ran the photo I took of the cars in the paper. And life moved on…

I never did see the movie. It’s in my Amazon.com wishlist in case anyone cares to buy it for me.

Fast forward four years, and I had my second Hollywood experience. This time, Nashville, TN. Printer’s Alley. My job? Working in one of the bars in the Alley. The filming is going on in the bar next to the one at which I work, but it somewhat disrupts things in the whole Alley.

Now, understand, when I heard days ago about a movie being filmed in the Alley, I got excited about how much great PR this could mean for it. Perhaps seeing our Alley in a movie would bring visitors next year?

However, going into the night I was already in a bad mood, but it didn’t take long for the bad mood to sour further. I quickly felt like I couldn’t do my job properly lest I cause some sort of problem between “Quiet! Filming!” barks and worrying about how our band would be able to load in their gear. Ultimately, I wanted to do my job, while they did theirs, but struggled with how to do just that.

Again.

And I have to admit. That frustrated me. I believe my exact phrase was “Pain in the a–, huh?” to my husband as he pulled in to unload his gear to play.

I often get this exact same frustration from tourists who seem to forget that while Nashville is a tourism-centric city, it’s also home to many people. We’re happy to have you here. But please don’t stop us from living our lives; doing our jobs.

Chances are tomorrow night I’ll have my third experience, as apparently filming will be again occurring in the Alley. I don’t know if that will go into the night and overlap with my time there. But, the chance is there. And I can’t say that it excites me.

Call it a pessimistic approach to the experience if you want.

Me? I call it an experienced approach to it.

Because that’s how I roll.

Dawg.

Whatever.

If I had time and ability to write a blog entry every time one came to me, this blog would be updated about five times a day versus once a week at best. This realization truly frustrates me and makes me realize that I need to MAKE time to write more often.

Time is money they say.

Words are cheap others say.

These opposing ideals are what seem to be holding me back. And this must change.

Recent topic ideas: new discoveries in my city (I finally visiting the Bluebird Cafe and fell in love with it just as I feared I would), family coming to visit (my brother will never know how much it meant to me to have him and his family come up this summer), roots and wings, and anniversaries of important events.

Perhaps I will go back and revisit some of these topics at another time. But for tonight, I lament the fact that I’ve let these words expire as time flew past. And I realize once again that the dreams I dream mean I need to marry those two old cliches.

Time is money. Words take time. And in my case. Words are money. And every word I write. Every sentence I compose. They all lead me down the path to my dreams of writing for a living.

"Drive Dunk, Get Nailed" cars are popping up around Nashville...

This week has been one for the record books for me. Simply due to how “different” it really was from beginning to end.

Many probably don’t know that I work at a hot dog stand in a bar in downtown Nashville for extra money. It’s a fun job and I get to listen to amazing live music, have a drink if I want one, and meet all kinds of interesting people. Not a bad day at work!

However, the week was kicked off with a strange Sunday in which the downtown in general was just dead. Not even Broadway could boast much of a “crowd.” And adding to the strange quiet of downtown, our full band didn’t start until midnight! Ultimately, I think those of us working agreed that we should have just closed early and cut our losses. Surely Monday would be better.

Monday, however, simply upped the strange factor.

A torrential downpour left my husband and I doing 20 mph on the Interstate as debris from trees swirled through the air, and our ability to see ahead of us was diminished down to a few feet. Once the storm cleared and we were able to go again at a normal pace, a woman in an SUV pulled out in front of us. She merged onto the Interstate, crossed two lanes into our lane, doing maybe 40 while we were going 70. It was physically impossible for us to slow fast enough to not rear end her, and I’m still thankful the next lane over was empty and we could swerve around her. Its not the first time that’s happened on a Nashville interstate to us (apparently checking to see if a lane is clear is not necessary, and turn signals don’t come standard on vehicles here) but it never ceases to leave my heart pounding wildly.

That evening’s highlight was getting to have dinner with my husband at his lodge meeting before going to work. THAT was a treat. Work, however, was simply bizarre again. Downtown was once again pretty much dead, but the city’s homeless were moving around a lot.

The night ended with a homeless woman rushing into the bar demanding that I call 9-1-1, because “he’s laying on the steps bleeding! He’s all beat up!” The woman said she and this man had only been in Nashville three days. However, she could not tell us who or where “he” was. My husband went with her to look, but came up with no one.

About half an hour later, the lady came back hysterical again to call 9-1-1. This time, my husband and the lead singer of our night’s entertainment went with her together to hunt for her friend. They did find the man this time, looking like he’d been beaten up and passed out in an alley.  My husband called for help, and soon three police cars, firetrucks and an ambulance appeared to help the man. I do hope the man and woman are all right, but I also hope to not go through that scavenger hunt again any time soon.

Things looked up come Tuesday. My husband sold a piece of gear and a roadcase he’d been trying to sell for awhile. I got the oil changed in my truck for a better price than I had anticipated it costing. And we arrived downtown for my husband to play the late shift to discover a music video being filmed outside the bar. The bonus was that I got asked to be an extra in the video! Definitely not your typical night out! Everyone has their list of things they want to do someday. A deep secret dream of mine has been to be in a music video. Now I can say I have!

Wednesday was gloriously normal. Thursday, I flew to Texas for a visit with my family. My husband jumped in a tour bus and headed north to Iowa and Wisconsin. Definitely a case of our going opposite directions! Not the first time. Nor will it be the last. (I can’t leave out that Thursday was also the day that Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson both passed away, leaving the news world spinning as well.)

Now, I’ve lived in Nashville just shy of three years, and in that time my ability to handle cold weather has gotten better, and my ability to handle hot weather has diminished. So not only was my Friday swim date with my nephew and niece a priceless period of time with my two favorite kids in this world, but it was a nice reprieve from the 100+ temps!

To round out the week came Saturday. I had tickets, thanks to a friend, to see a Texas artist do a show in Waco. However, I was not aware it was an outdoor show until the night before. My parents and I went, but ended up not staying. The heat was just too much for all of us. (I suppose on my part, it also doesn’t help that I’ve admittedly gotten a bit spoiled to having a cool tour bus to hide out in at outdoor shows when I go see my husband play a show!) The inside of the club was reserved for VIP ticket holders, and with General Admission tickets we couldn’t go inside. So without reprieve from the heat, we left not long after the music had started.

Strange for me to not stay for a concert! But this year’s summer in Texas is setting record highs… and I suppose that in and of itself tops out a very different week for me. One for the books.

Or atleast for this blog.

I last wrote in this blog right after the inauguration, when the country’s optimism was high and hope was the feeling in the air. I still stand by my belief that optimism and hope are something we needed and still need. However, with unemployment rates at 1983 levels and home foreclosures happening just down the street on almost every street in America, optimism is hard to find again, and hope seems like a childish feeling in the face of the economy’s harsh reality.

I’ve not written in here in awhile because I’ve been “on the road for work” myself. I’ve been in Texas working with my parents through tax season. I’m grateful for the work, and I honestly enjoy it! It’s at times like this that I wish more than ever I could move Arkansas and Louisiana and bring Texas and Tennessee a lot closer together!!

Working with people’s taxes, I’m amazed how the economy’s downward spiral is a lot like a tornado. Hitting this house and that house, but not touching this other one over here. For every few people that are struggling — praying for a large refund to get through for awhile longer — there’s that random person who is thriving. Their company is growing or they’ve just been able to more effectively manage their money. That random person who is proud of their success, but sometimes I get a sense that there’s this underlying feeling of guilt to be thriving as others struggle.

Personally, I see those people who are thriving as those beacons of hope that we all still need. Hope is not childish or naive. Faith is not a lack of realism. Fear is to be expected. Worry runs rampant today. But I, personally, choose to use all of them together. Worry and fear to feed my desire to keep fighting. Hope and faith give me the determination and ability to win.

38 more days until April 15, 2009

I just finished reading the book Remember Me by Sophie Kinsella, in which the lead character loses three years worth of memories in an auto accident. Set in 2007, Lexi only can remember her life up through 2004, and she is left to struggle to fit into her own life which has changed dramatically in those three years that she can’t remember.

As I read — no, devoured would be more precise — the book, I couldn’t help but muse over how much my own life has changed in the last three, five, even ten, years. Not just how my life has changed, but how much I’ve changed on the inside.

Over the last few years, I’ve come out of my shell dramatically. When I take a personality test, I now straddle introvert and extrovert, whereas even just three years ago I still was firmly an introvert. Even as I thought I’d live in Nashville some day, I never expected it to so dramatically become HOME for me. I have made countless connections with people here and across the country whom I can’t imagine not knowing today. Every connection, every challenge, every change has helped to shape the person I am today.

Today is my second wedding anniversary, and its so true when I say that I love my husband more today than I did when we said our vows on that warm January day in 2007. To be honest, I think there was a time I didn’t think I’d ever marry… much less discover someone who is so completely my other half and without a doubt my soul mate.

It’s been over five years since I graduated from college, and its been almost ten since I graduated from high school. Oh my how different I am since high school!! Honestly, I’m not sure I’d recognize who I am if my high school self met my married-living-in-another-state-doing-odd-jobs self.

As Christmas cards arrived in the mail — several from old friends that I’ve known for many, many years — I looked at pictures or read notes, and I mused over how we’ve all taken our own paths in life. How this one has children. This one has gotten divorced. That one is on the fast track of their career. These are married and enjoying their life of marital bliss. And yet we all jumped off the spring board into life from the same place at the same point. While life has taken us different ways, in our hearts we will always be the dearest of friends.

There’s no way to ever comprehend what it would be life to lose years of your life’s memories, but it is possible to look back and see how each of us have changed. While some of those changes were wonderful and others hard to get through, they all shape us and take us to wherever we each are at any given time. I am grateful for everything that’s taken me to where I am today. Because I’m happy. I have my challenges to deal with on any given day, but those challenges only show me that I am alive and living a life of my own. Living a life I never want to forget.