High school rock stars

There’s a Cross Canadian Ragweed song that says, “You’re always 17 in your hometown.” And in a lot of ways, its true. I don’t know what it is about rolling into your hometown that slips you back into that mode. You remember your high school glories. Suddenly I find myself walking with that old swagger. I look around and, while many things have changed, I find a deep comfort in how much is still the same.

I’m in my hometown right now, working at the family business. The other day, I had to make a trip over to the pharmacy. I forgot to pack allergy pills and had to go grab myself a bottle to get through the change in climate and geography.

As I went to leave, I noticed a couple cars in the parking lot. Probably 7 or 8 high school aged kids were hanging out. I had my windows up so I couldn’t hear if they were jamming out to tunes or anything.  But I recognized that swagger in their step. I recognized the attitude in how they  leaned against the cars. This town is THEIR town right now. They are the keepers of the school’s spirit.

It made me smile. It made me actually shake my head to realize none of them were even in school when I was in their shoes. It didn’t make me feel old, as I thought it would. It just made me realize that time moves on, and they are where they are to be and I am where I am meant to be. I wouldn’t trade places with them for all the money in the world.

I may be in my  hometown… but I am most definitely not 17. And I am totally happy in that fact.

Writing prompt today from Daily Challenge by Me You Health: Share 3 small things that made you happy when you were a child or teenager.Think back to your childhood or teen years and share three little things that made you ridiculously happy. Was it making a phone call to a favorite aunt or uncle you didn’t talk to often? A food that knocked your socks off the first time you tasted it? A memorable trip to a museum? If it brought a grin to your young face, it belongs on the list. *I’m currently on a “Finding Fulfillment” track on Daily Challenge (a site that gives you a daily challenge to promote everyday well-being).

Childhood… when things are simpler and you’re clueless to how amazing the simplicity is. This prompt has left me filing through memories for a long time, trying to choose the best answers to share.

Books. I wish I read even half as much as I did as a kid. I devoured books like they were candy. And even long after I could read, Mom would read to me before sleep. No matter how sleepy she was, she’d read to me. As I got older, we transitioned to chapter books. I still remember when she read Where the Red Fern Grows and even my brother would come and listen as she’d read a chapter or two. Treasured, treasured memories.

Playing until dark. I can’t imagine spending all my summer in front of a TV playing video games or on the computer playing computer games. I remember playing outside until dark, and still not wanting to go inside. Swinging on the swings. Playing make-believe games, writing stories in my head as I went along. Playing basketball or any number of made-up games with my brother. Oh the carefree feeling of playing for hours on end!

Hotel stays. Call me silly, but I hardly remember trips to Six Flags, etc. It’s the hotel stays that I remember! Even though I really couldn’t swim, I looked forward to a hotel pool every summer. I wanted to jump in the pool the minute we checked in, and I think I’d have stayed in the water until the pool closed, if could have. We didn’t have cable when I was a kid. I grew up with CBS, ABC, NBC, PBS and (eventually) FOX. Sometimes when people my age talk about shows they liked as a kid, they receive a blank stare from me because I didn’t get the stations they got. However, any time we went on vacation and stayed in a hotel, I’d fight sleep to watch Nick-at-Night. Mr. Ed, The Patty Duke Show, and The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis are favorites of mine to this day because of those nights at a hotel.

I could list countless more memories that make me smile! This is so much fun! Definitely brought a smile to my face.

What about you… what are three of YOUR happy memories?

Five years ago, I said, “I do” to my best friend. Five years ago, surrounded by family and friends, I became my husband’s wife. Five years ago… seems like it was just yesterday.

I randomly will remember moments from that day. Everything from making sure I didn’t run into my groom before I walked down the aisle to the rain softly falling as we stepped out of the church to cutting the cake to doing the Aggie War Hymn to sitting at our little cabin for the night eating summer sausage and drinking Crown and cokes. And everything in between those events. It doesn’t feel like we should be celebrating FIVE YEARS.

But, in the same breath… I can believe it.

I sure can’t fit in my dress any more. We’ve had three different addresses in those five years. We’ve handled job losses and job advances. We’ve lost pets, and we’ve gotten new ones. We continue to chase our dreams, both each other’s biggest fans. We now understand the statement, “I love you more every day.”

We’ve had arguments. We’ve had laughter so hard we couldn’t breathe. We’ve had moments of glory, we’ve had moments of failure. We’ve lived our life hand-in-hand for the last five years, and we hold hands looking to many, many more ahead.

—-

*Photo by AJW Photo.

After meeting in a small town outside of College Station, TX, we all drove (in several vehicles) to Aggieland for dinner at Freebirds and then dancing at Hurricane Harry’s. It. Was. Epic!

What great memories! Everyone got along famously, and I am happy to say we are still friends with all our wedding party! I hear all too often about friendships fading after a wedding (just in different places in life, I guess) but it has not been the case for us. Every friendship is just as precious as it was that night, when we shut the place down partying the night away.

It was a party that continued into the next few days…

This was the 10th New Year’s Eve I’ve spent with my husband.

We rang in…
2003: Billy Bob’s Texas, Ft. Worth, TX
2004: Cowboys Red River, Dallas, TX
2005: Sixth Street, Austin, TX
2006: Jubitz, Portland, OR
2007: Flag Hall, Cyclone, TX
2008: Lexington, KY
2009: Fiddle & Steel, Nashville, TN
2010: Flag Hall, Cyclone, TX
2011: Fiddle & Steel, Nashville, TN
2012: Fiddle & Steel, Nashville, TN

This was the first year that we BOTH worked the night, which meant we were together, but not. My husband taking the cover charge at the door; me, slinging drinks behind the bar.

It was a crazy  night, a bigger New Year’s Eve than I’d seen in… well… ever. SO many people downtown Nashville, and it got scary to look up at the bar patrons. Lined four deep, it got overwhelming at times, trying to keep up with the demand. We ran out of most of our beer, and we actually called it a night a little bit early.

Didn’t help much, as we still didn’t leave the bar until 5:30 am… but I have to say, I can’t think of a more satisfying way to open 2012. Working hard as the clock struck midnight. Lets hope this year is full of hard, satisfying work, where we end it looking back feeling like we’ve been successful in all our endeavors.

Happy New Year, everyone!

One was a regular at the bar I work at… a kind man who you could depend on for anything. He was our resident carpenter. Sometimes I think the bar was still standing thanks to him. He took many under his wings, standing in as a father figure to many. He had a genuine smile, and was quiet. Often times you didn’t know what he was thinking, but when you’d get to talk to him you’d be revealed a wealth of knowledge. He and my husband became friends after learning they were both Freemasons. When I would work in the hot dog stand, he’d come buy out the candy bars, often leaving me a nice tip. (Even when I’d carefully return him change to avoid it, he’d chide me and tell me to break the big bills down into smaller bills.) His want to buy all the candy to give to the bartenders and waitresses next door made me smile… his kindness unmistakable.

When I received word that he had a massive stroke, with 0% chance of survival, my heart stopped for a moment. And when I heard word he had been taken off life support and had passed away, my heart ached deeply for his children, left two days before Christmas without their Dad… a man who was truly an angel walking here on Earth.

Then later, I learned a woman who graduated a few years ahead of me — her sister a classmate of mine — passed away suddenly yesterday morning. Scouring Facebook for more details, my heart once again ached for the two beautiful little girls left this Christmas without their Mom. This woman posted just Tuesday that she couldn’t wait for Friday, I presume to start her Christmas celebrations. I was struck by life’s cruel irony that Friday would instead be her last day here on Earth. I dropped a note to her sister, but words just seemed cheap at this moment.

This all comes on top of learning about deaths in car accidents (specifically a Texas A&M football player earlier this week), and loss of homes. Death. Loss of any kind. They all sting. But their sting is just a bit sharper. Just a bit more bitter in this time of joy all around.

I pray for strength for these families dealing with their losses. I pray they can still find joy in Christmas, even if its a bittersweet joy. Similarly, I hope those who lost loved ones throughout the last year can find ways to honor their lost loved one, but still see the peace of the holiday. The hope and joy its meant to bring.

My grandma always loved Christmas. The family would gather. Songs were sung; poems were read. Gifts were shared, and food… oh all the food. My parents now live in what was my grandparent’s house, and even though they’ve been in this house for 10 years now — it being my home as well for over half that time — I still will get a moment of pause remembering memories of times lost past, especially here at Christmas. Just today I had one of those brief moments walking through the dining room. For a split second it was as if I stepped back in time, and instead of at Mom and Dad’s house, I was in Grandma’s house and it was time to start preparing for our Christmas dinner soon. I didn’t want to shake the feeling off. I wanted to revel in it. I wanted to remember with a smile.

I hope those facing their deep loss this Christmas will one day do the same; they’ll not look at Christmas with sadness but with the joy of those beautiful memories made before this sadness hit them. God Bless them all and give them strength.

Let’s all take a moment this Christmas to enjoy those we love a little more than usual. To file away those happy memories for the future. They are more priceless than any physical gift could ever hope to be…

Our stockings are hung by the chimney with care...

My husband and I started the process of decorating for Christmas. Informed that our neighborhood goes “all out” at Christmas, we realized we’d need to step it up a bit this year.

We headed to the store and picked up a few items we knew we’d need. A few new strings of lights, some extension cords, and a spotlight for a new cutout we have to set out in the yard. Then when we got home, we dug out all the boxes of decorations we already had.

I started to go through the boxes, getting a few things out to go ahead and put up in the house and getting other things ready to put up later. As I dug into the biggest box of decor, my heart sank.

Earlier this year, our basement flooded with about two inches of water. I wasn’t the least bit worried about the big plastic tote we had our decorations stored in safely. Everything would stay dry.

I had no idea, the bottom of the tote had cracked. Decorations that hold countless sentimental memories for me were either covered in mold or their boxes were practically eaten through with mold. I briefly reminded myself that this was nothing like the May 2011 flood that people went through here in Nashville, but still… as I threw out a few items that just couldn’t be salvaged, my heart broke a little. As I carefully cleaned the nutcrackers that were my grandmas, I realized there is a good chance this could be their last year if I didn’t get it all cleared off their bright red and green painted uniforms.

Several ornaments that were salvageable had boxes that were not… boxes that had the years I’d gotten them written on them. I threw the boxes in the trash with a sigh, but was grateful the ornament inside was okay.

Tomorrow I will go through ornaments that look okay from the outside. I’ll find out if they’ll join ones that weren’t okay.

Oh, I know I could look at it as an excuse to buy new decorations. But for me, Christmas is more about MAYBE buying one or two new items, using the old, well-loved decorations year after year. It’s a time to remember our past and the loved ones tied to those items. Ornaments exchanged with friends through the years. Decorations passed down from my parents and grandparents. Newer ones, bought or received as newlyweds. Christmas isn’t about whats new… its more about what’s old to me. Making the day’s mold discovery downright devastating.

It’s not the end of my world, though. I salvaged well over 3/4 of my decorations, but I am braced for some to not make it another year in case any mold was missed in my cleaning. I’ll just enjoy them extra this year, and reminisce to my heart’s desire.

…which is my birthday.

I always do my photo-a-day, every day, for a year starting with my birthday. It lets me document a year of my life; I can look at a photo and remember where I was and what I was doing at the moment that shot was taken.

Not only is this a great way to look back over the year, but its constantly pushed my boundaries with photography. You can actually see the improvement over the course of 365 photos.

If anyone is interested in taking a trip down memory lane with me:

Growing up in Texas, Fall basically meant football season. The temperatures would go from sweltering to warm with the occasional chill in the wind. Past that, Fall = Football. Period.

Oh okay, it meant a bunch of birthdays, Halloween and Thanksgiving. And school pictures. But past that? Fall colors were what you saw only by cutting out construction paper leaves. You saw them in decorations bought at arts & crafts fairs. Or you saw them in magazines and on TV. But in Texas? It just goes summer leaves to no leaves at all in the blink of an eye. No magical color change.

Then I moved to Tennessee.

I still remember I had just recently moved here, and I was driving to our apartment from the store and I was struck by the colors all around me. I called my brother to squeal on his voicemail about how pretty it was. I don’t know why that memory remains with me, but it does.

Fall tends to not love me back. I get a yearly sinus infection, and I end up staring out the window at the pretty in misery. But it never stops me from still anticipating the season with glee.

My first visit to a "pumpkin patch" in 2006

Pumpkin patches to visit. Corn mazes to traverse.

There’s Pumpkin Spiced Lattes to drink.

Its time to get out warmer clothing.

And the colors… oh the colors! It starts with a little tinge of color in a tree here and a tree there. Then you start to notice all the trees are slowly changing from green to reds, yellows and oranges. The leaves that have already fallen crunch under your feet as you walk through the grass, and they speckle the drive way with their brilliant beauty.  Sometimes when the wind blows, they fall around you like glitter.

My husband and I like to go on drives through the country to look at all the colors. Those construction paper leaves of elementary school have nothing on the real thing! I stare out the window — be it my living room window or the passenger side window of our truck — in awe. Mesmerized by the changes this season brings.

We’ve had our first freeze warning of the year… though the extreme cold is short lived for now. We’ll be back in the 70s this weekend, just in time for a group trip to a corn maze where we’ll laugh and get lost among the cornstalks. A hayride will make us feel like kids again, and a cup of apple cider will warm the soul as much as the tummy.

Yes, Fall is definitely my favorite season of the year. And I plan to enjoy everything I can about it before winter gets its grip on the area.

Anyway, I thought I’d share my moving recap from my private journal. As I said, I moved on October 3rd, but just a couple days later I was already headed back to Texas… in one of my very few actual trips on the tour bus…

01:51 am October 3rd, 2006

Well. I’m all packed up and ready to roll. All that is left is a few things that I need tomorrow and then Sully.

I was in a reflective mood all day, and I was also a little snippy. I’m excited to be going! But I’m also… I dunno. Not sad, really. But I’m definitely… reflective.

Anyway, keeping this short. Gotta go to bed. Headed Nashville-way tomorrow! Should be there tomorrow night. :)

03:28 am October 4th, 2006

Made it to Nashville fine. Will give better update tomorrow when more coherent. But we’re here and all doin’ fine.

04:38 am October 7th, 2006

I’m writing this somewhere in Alabama. At least that’s what my cell phone cames back with when I do a “Find Me” on my Weather Channel application a little while ago. We might be in Mississippi already. I have no idea.

It’s hard to keep up with where you are on this bus. C and I are in the back lounge for the night. He’s already trying to sleep since he has to get up and drive in the morning. Me… it’s only 12:14 am. I’m not the least bit sleepy. So I thought I’d write a journal entry to be posted later….

Monday we spent the entire day packing me up to move. Loading the U-Haul up. I found myself very short tempered as the day passed, and I snipped at C a lot. He was giddy-excited. Me? I was happy and excited, sure! But there was the underlying sense of sadness and reflection. So his playfulness ended up, well, he said it himself… annoying me.

That night, I apologized for being so short with him, and I asked him to please be patient with me. This was a big deal for me. He said he understood and tucked me into my bed. He left to his room, and I sat up on the edge of the bed… I looked around the room.

All the walls were bare. My laptop and cell phone plugged in but sitting on the floor. A few empty boxes we hadn’t needed in one corner. Boxes of things I’d still need in the morning stacked in another corner. Slowly… silent tears started to fall. I turned off the lamp, crawled into bed and quite literally cried myself to sleep. I was excited for my future, but I mourned the end of what had been my life for the last (almost) 26 years.

The next morning, I’ll admit that I got started later than I had planned, and yet somehow I didn’t care. I showered and then got C up to go shower as well. I called my parents to come say good bye, and when they did we all realized it would work out to have an early lunch together.

We loaded up the last few items. Put Sully in his crate. I got C to take a picture of me with my parents at the house before leaving. And we headed to Dairy Queen for a quick lunch.

We ate and then it was time to really say good bye. I held back tears as I hugged my parents and told them good bye. It was emotional! Even though I knew I’d be back in a few days, I also knew that this was it. When I came back… yeah, it would be home. But it was never going to be the same.

We climbed in the truck, gave Sully some water and we were off. I let Sully out of his crate, but he chose to stay in there for a long time. When he DID crawl out, we both realized… neither of us had grabbed his litter box. OOops.

Sure enough, he chose to use his bed as a liter box… the smell was AWFUL. We had to roll the windows down and find the first place to pull over and dump it out. Once we did, twenty minutes later he did it again! UGH! This was going to make for a long trip! But, luckily, that was it. And not long after we were able to stop at a Wal-Mart and buy a small box that fit on the back seat perfectly.

I took the wheel for a few hours – all the way into Arkansas. We stopped for supper in Texarkana before continuing on our way. C drove the whole rest of the way into Nashville. The drive was good. Not much traffic. Sully came to life and paced a lot. He sat in both our laps at times. Then would perch on the center compartment in the front seat. Then he’d get on top of his crate and watch the world go past us. Trucks fascinated him. He only got panicky one time, but it only took a few minutes to calm him down.

We made it into the apartment complex around 2:30 am. Unfortunately, even with as tired as we were, sleep would not come. So we sat watching TV until almost 5 am before retiring to bed.

It was around noon when we got up and moving. We ordered a pizza to be delivered so we could eat while we moved everything from the trailer to the apartment. It was low 90s and we kept having to take a break. Second floor apartment. It was hot. It took it out of us! Plus, we were snipping at each other non-stop. It was borderline worrisome how we kept bickering over boxes and stuff.

J showed up finish cleaning out her stuff, so we ended up helping each other. We’d take stuff down of hers, and she’d help carry stuff of mine up. ‘She also left boxes of clothes she was going to toss – one even still had its tags! So I grabbed a ton of clothes that are like new! I love that we are the same size of clothes – except for jeans of course. LOL Once we emptied the trailer, C and I returned it to U-Haul. Then we went driving around to just relax and get away from it all for awhile.

C and I spent all evening cleaning the apartment up. Putting my things in place. I took over J’s bathroom, and its MY room. It the one room that is all mine in the apartment. The other bathroom is C’s. It’s kinda nice to each of us have one room all our own. It’s our sanctuaries, if you will.

Once we decided to call it a night on unpacking me, we sat on the couch and talked for a long time. We ended up discussing out bickering – discovering why we were on such different pages. Mending fences. Agreeing that it’s going to happen from time-to-time, it was just that this was our first time to really bicker for a long period of time. Nothing serious, just individual frustrations that we needed to discuss.

We again stayed up way late before crashing. I got up today “early.” I was so excited about my bathroom that I wanted to go play with it some. Arrange my closet. Take a shower. Etc. Lovely!! It’s silly how excited I got over it.

We had a 6:00 pm bus call, so the day had to be quiet and simple.  I got to meet the new guitarist and bus driver upon bus call. Everyone was thankfully cool with my riding down tonight. I love that they’ve all figured out they don’t have to sensor themselves around me and stuff. I’m one of the guys now. Only, you know, not

Mom and Dad should get to Pasadena mid-afternoon tomorrow. We’ll all have supper together, watch the show, and then I’ll head back to Cameron. Two busy weeks and then its off to Billy Bob’s.

I’m very happy to be in Nashville now. Even though I’ve only been there two days. My sadness has given way to excitement. It’s still going to take some getting used to, this new life of mine. But I’m happy for it. I respect and miss my past. I appreciate my present. And I anticipate my future.

I’m sure we’re in Mississippi by now. I need to call it a night. I’m starting to fade a little bit.  C has to get up and drive in the morning, and I figure I’ll get up with him and sit in the jump seat while he drives. So I should get some sleep. It’ll be a long day tomorrow.