Musician’s Widow

I heard an article yesterday that a college in Massachusetts is now accepting YouTube videos of students applying for admission.

An excerpt from the story:

“We’re not judging it on the qualities of the production values,” says Lee Coffin, dean of admissions at Tufts. “We’re not looking for Oscar-winning short films. What we’re really hoping to get out of these videos is another part of the puzzles that make up this 17-year-old person.”

I’m glad I didn’t have this kind of pressure on my shoulders when I applied to college!  However, I can’t help but sit and wonder what I’d have done as a video when I was 17. Who I am today and who I was twelve a few years ago are two different people! However, in the same breath, my core values haven’t changed one bit.

First and foremost, I would have to introduce my family. It’s changed some since I was 17. My niece and my husband have both been added to the family since then. More love to go around! I have without a doubt been blessed with the most amazing family. A family that is supportive and loving. A family that laughs together and leans on each other. A family that I can always rely on to be there for me. And one that I will always been here for… they are truly the people who mold me more than anything else.

My faith would also be at the top of the list. My faith and the hope and strength God gives to me is a huge part of who I am. I am not someone who will wear my faith on my sleeve, but I also will not deny it. I will not hold back how much I do lean on it to get me through trials in life.

My faith is stronger today than it was back then.

Home would have to be introduced. Back then, I would have focused on my hometown, and my love for wide open fields and back roads. Today, I would have to show that, but I would also have to put a heavy focus on my city. I absolutely love Nashville and its vibe. I love its melting pot of people, and the wonderful friends I’ve made there.

My school would have to be acknowledged. Back then, high school and the pride I had in my school then. Today, being an Aggie is a bigger part of who I am than anyone could ever understand or truly respect. Digs against my school could very will be considered a dig against me personally. My school is more than its football team. My school is a family in and of itself. I could never ask anyone to understand. All I ever ask is to for it to be respected.

Finally, lots of little quirks make me who I am. Back then, things like yearbook, newspaper, band, flags, CDs and my pick up truck would be who I would introduce. Today, writing, photography, travel, my cats, my home, and a good home-cooked meal would probably be what I add to the mix.

Come to think of it, there would be absolutely no way for me to capture all the things that make me who I am in a way that would be true to myself. I suspect many of those applying for admission are realizing that fact, and are instead taking the catchy route. Sometimes its easier to entertain than it is to study yourself.

But at 17 — heck at ANY age — its not a bad idea to do just that. Take time to consider what it is that makes you who you are, and a step beyond that… how do you portray that to the world?

This is the first time my Weekly Winners post comes all from the same day. However, it was a very special day. It was Stride & Ride.

My excitement for the day was trumped by this overwhelming hope and joy of the event. As we made the walk around Cowboys Stadium, I was amazed at how all of us there had gathered to celebrate MDA’s strides towards a cure for Muscular Dystrophy. We were all gathered together with one common purpose. There was old and young there. There were people of every race. There teams walked with their friend or family member who have Muscular Dystrophy. There were those walking in memory of a loved one.

The excitement that buzzed in the air trumped the fact we were at the new Cowboys Stadium — a sight in and of itself to experience. And at the end of the day, over $500,000 were raised for MDA (the group with the most raised was a high school team!) and there was this wonderful reminder to everyone there: You are not alone.

Amazing. I am SO GLAD I got to be there… Thank you Scott, Dana, Cody and Jeni for having me there. Go Maynard’s Gang!

For more Weekly Winners submissions, go visit Sarcastic Mom!

We were at Cowboy's Stadium

Boy Scouts on hand to present the colors

We had people cheering us along the way around the stadium

Me and my big brother -- I didn't expect this to come out because we were literally walking at the same time I took this. Much to my surprise, this is one of the best pics of the day!

Carrie and I have been taking pictures like this since junior high school. Only, I think this is the first time one of us had backup singers.

Maynard's Gang striding and riding. My niece and nephew brought friends along, and they took a turn pushing my nephew along.

There are Tvs all over the stadium! Our teams cruising along, checking out the screens.

Our fearless leader!

I can officially say I've been on the Jumbotron at Cowboys Stadium. TAKE THAT! I RULE! COOLEST THING EVAH!

I think these arches in the stadium's architechure are the best part of it.

Cowboys Stadium

We all went to this awesome barbecue restaurant after the walk. This was part of the building's charm. SO NEAT!!

All of my photos on Flickr.

Recently, a fund raising focus has been on helping the people in Haiti following the earthquake that devastated the island. The need there is great, and its wonderful to see the outpouring of love and aid that has come from the tragedy.

However, right here in our country, there are many people and organizations that are in need. And as everyone finds themselves tightening the belt on spending, those needs become greater. We find ourselves picking and choosing where we give our support.

For me, I have a few places I feel compelled most to help. At the top of that list is the Muscular Dystrophy Association (MDA).

See, my nephew has Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (DMD), and I have seen the amazing things that MDA is doing with my own eyes through him.

My nephew is, without a single doubt in my mind, one of THE most amazing people anyone would be lucky enough to meet. Why? Simply because of his attitude and perspective on life. He never asks, “Why me?” Instead, he puts his energy and focus on those things he can do.

I still remember attending church one Sunday, and during the children’s sermon, the pastor asked Cody if there was ever a time he said, “That’s not fair!”

And his answer?

“When my sister got to have something I didn’t.”

I remember blinking back tears, and my heart filling with admiration. He could have said any number of things. When I couldn’t play baseball anymore. When I spent a week in ICU one summer. When I can’t join in at PE with the rest of the kids playing ball and chase. But no, when his sister got something he wanted.

He has an easy smile and can-do attitude. I have always said it, and I will continue to say it. I look up to that kid; he is my biggest hero. If I can be even half as optimistic as he is, then I’m doing okay.

It is with great honor that I will be joining him and the rest of the family in Dallas, Texas at the new Cowboys Stadium this weekend for MDA’s Stride & Ride to help raise money for MDA. We are Maynard’s Gang, named by Cody. And even though I don’t do mornings (no, really, I don’t; this isn’t just a funny thing to say), I will be there at 7:30 AM with a smile on my face (assuming I have coffee, then it might not be a smile as much as a smirk), ready to support this great cause. Ready to stand there by my nephew and family. Ready to be a part of this event.

(Besides. Dude. The new Cowboys Stadium. Holy Smokes! I can’t wait to see it! WOW! I think this week’s Weekly Winners has a definite theme ahead. LOL!)

I know from personal experience… dollars are very short these days. But if you can give, even just a little bit, please consider helping sponsor Maynard’s Gang.

Dear 2010,

Be nice.

No, seriously. Be nice. Your predecessor, 2009? Talk about your evil woman! I say good riddance to her. Don’t let the champagne cork hit you when you go.

I should be fair and admit 2009 had its good aspects. One of which was my laying the groundwork for the future professionally. And within that, I know in my heart that you, 2010, will be successful.

It has to be, and thus will be.

I don’t make New Years resolutions. I choose to make resolutions throughout the year, and personally I feel like making a New Years resolution is setting yourself up to fail at those goals. Because its hard to take goal seriously when its made because you feel like you should make it, versus making the goal at a time you are prepared mentally to truly succeed in that particular goal.

I do, however, choose to look to the new year with an unspecific and broad feeling of hope and determination.I’m going into the new year with a positive outlook on it. Stress and worry and pessimism be gone! Determination and activism and optimism enter!

So, you see, 2010… you really have no choice but to be nice. I will accept nothing less of you. I allowed 2009 to dictate me too much. And, as a result, 2010, I am taking over as boss. And you WILL be better, and you WILL be successful.

I will welcome you with open arms at the stroke of midnight with my husband and family and friends. And I will be very glad to see you. Welcome to 2010…

- Me

Family -- Christmas 2009

Last Christmas, I wrote about there being “No price to the holidays.” This year, it felt like all I saw leading up to Christmas was dollar signs… the cost of living had me down in the dumps and stressed. It seemed like we were on this strange teeter-totter; once I’d be up, something would come out of no where to bring me back down.

Then… we began our trip towards family and a much-needed reprieve from everyday life. And, frankly, our bad luck followed us. In little ways — slamming my finger in a car door, my husband spilling hot coffee on himself — bad luck began to become funny. My attitude began to change, and I began to see the humor in almost every situation.

I also began reminiscing.

See, I’ve started this Christmas blog entry at least ten times in my mind over the course of the last two weeks. A dozen different angles. Hundreds of little stories and memories. All of which so precious. All of which deserve an entry to themselves.

My nephew made a video for a class project, and he gave us all a copy of it. “What Christmas means to me” is a gift I’m going to cherish forever… he did a great job on it, and as I sit here it makes me think… what would I say if I did such a project.

At around his age (ok, maybe more around my niece’s age), my answer would consist of stories about going to Grandma’s house with the whole family. It would talk about our “Christmas Program” in which the family gathered in the living room to sing songs, recite poems and read Christmas stories. I’d talk about Happy Birthday Baby Jesus cake, family photos, and lighting candles on the tree in order of grandchild’s age.

I’d talk about Children’s mass at church on Christmas Eve, where I’d sing in the children’s choir and Mom and my brother would be in the adult choir — complete with songs in Czech! I’d talk about how I never got to carry any of the main pieces of the nativity in during procession. Always either a donkey or a cow… no offense to the animals, but as a child you want Jesus, Mary or Joseph… or an angel… or at least a shepherd!

Finally, I would talk about Christmas morning and the wide-eyed wonder of Santa having come leave gifts over night. There were Barbies and Baby-Sitter’s Club Books. Board games and new jeans. Living in Texas, it wasn’t unusual to be warm enough to go outside and play in the afternoon. Or perhaps we’d go visit my Grandpa in Bryan.

Christmas would mean to me family, church, good food, and presents.

Today, my entry would look slightly different. So far, my husband and I have alternated Christmases with each other’s families. One year in Oregon, the next year in Texas. While both families have their own traditions, some things remain the same no matter where you are or how old you are… Christmas is still all about family, celebrating Jesus’ birth, good food, and presents — though today I am more into giving than receiving… Not that I don’t like receiving (new camera and an A&M Snuggie for the WIN!)… haha!

Ultimately, we should keep Christmas in our hearts year around. Its simply a magical time of year if only you’ll let it be so. Its a time of peace. Its a time of joy. Its a time of love. Its a time of hope. Its a time of faith…

Christmas means all these things to me.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas (or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or whatever you celebrate)… May the joy of this season carry us into the new year.

I’m trying really, really, really hard to be in the Christmas spirit this year. And as I look around me, I see that to be true for so many people this year.

I got laid off last Thursday. Two weeks before Christmas. TWO WEEKS! Now how do you tell a 7-year-old Santa lost his job before he’d finished his shopping? — A friend

It seems like the true pain of the economy has struck many this holiday season. Funds are low. Bills are high. Christmas dreams seem almost impossible to be dreamed. These woes have been fact for many for years, but for others its a new experience. I know I find myself with a deeper appreciation for my ancestors who survived The Great Depression.

As the press spends airtime trying to convince us all that the economy is getting better. That the recession it taking a turn. That its okay to spend money again. I call BS. If anything, now is the time we’re all feeling the pinch more than ever. That the true collapse of our economy has begun to settle, and we’re all looking around at the pieces around us. Pieces that come in the form of bills we can’t pay. Homes that today sit empty. Unemployment numbers that have reached near record highs.

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle in their journey. – Author Unknown

A friend wrote that quote as their status update on Facebook tonight, and that really made me stop and think. It’s very true. We all have our own battles to fight every day. Some are facing potential job loss. Others are trying to find a job. I know of people who have family members in the hospital fighting for their lives. We are still hearing stories of families losing members — children — to the H1N1 flu virus.

We all have our crosses to bear. And in a season in which we’re all encouraged to be a little kinder to each other, it seems that this year that need is a little greater. Smiles need to be a little brighter. Hugs need to hold on a little tighter. Transgressions of the past year need to be forgiven. Time spent counting our many blessings needs to be taken a little more often.

Losing the spirit of the season only hurts you more. I was happy to address and mail Christmas cards, even as I grumbled about the postage hike that made it a little more difficult to afford. I couldn’t pass up participating in a recent “Dirty Santa” game at a Christmas Party… the laughter and friendship that occurs in a game like that is priceless. It’s memories that keep you warm in your heart all year long.

I have been so blessed lately to be surrounded by dear friends, and I look forward to a trip to spend Christmas with family. I can’t wait for midnight mass — a chance to truly remember the reason for this season. And even when life and my own personal “battles” get me down, I’m reminded to take a moment and let this season sink into my heart. It’s a time for joy. For family and friends. For hope. For love. For faith.

Perhaps even for a little magic. Christmas magic. That thing that takes the holiday doldrums and turns them into holiday cheer… I, personally, believe in magic.

Don’t you?

A little late, but pausing to give thanks…

Family

My parents and my husband at Thanksgiving dinner

I have the most awesome family. Ever.

My husband is wonderful. I seriously married my best friend. We regularly joke, “Its just too bad we never have any fun together” as we’re doubled over with laughter as we crack each other up. Or if there is something wrong, we can always pick it up in just a few words. It’s… something I am so lucky to have.

And even days when I am PMSing, and I know he feels like he can’t do anything right. And maybe deep down I wish he’d go find some gig to do for the night. (But, you know, if he did, I’d probably get upset that he’s not home. LOL!) I’m sincerely thankful for him every single day, and I really don’t know what I’d do without him.

He’s stuck with me.

My parents are in a word: incredible. I am blessed with parents that are my teachers, my friends, my cheerleaders, and my psychiatrists. I could never begin to say “Thank you” enough for all they’ve done for, and with, me in my life. I am so, so, so lucky. They are without a doubt the coolest parents ever.

Ever.

My brother and sister-in-law probably have no idea how much I admire them. As a couple. As indivduals. Especially as parents themselves. I look up to them, and I’ve been taking lots of notes. They are an inspiration to me.

My nephew and niece are just cool, cool kids that are growing up WAY TOO FAST. My nephew is in junior high. HOW did that happen already?? I was just putting him to bed in a crib yesterday, I swear! And my niece has better fashion sense than me. And I am okay with this. I think. Maybe. Hmmm… But in all seriousness? Those two kids have no idea how much they make my day every time I see them, and how they cross my mind daily.

My in-laws are awesome as well… and I really wish we could see them a lot more often than we do. If I could ever say I have any regrets, it would be not seeing my husband’s family far more often. Miles and money always seem to get in the way. We are very blessed to have them in our lives, and I am grateful to at least have internet and telephones to keep in touch with them.

I also have really rockin’ (albeit dysfunctional at times – LOL! – I say that very lovingly) extended family, that make me smile. And I know I could lean on them at a time of trouble. And for this fact, and for so many more, I feel so blessed.

Surrounded by friends

Friends
Old Friends! New Friends! Acquaintences!

If a person’s wealth were to be measure by the friends they have, I’d without a doubt be a millionaire.

Friends in Texas. Friends in Nashville. My Aggies. My fellow writers. My friends around the country. I couldn’t begin to list them all, but I also do not take a single one for granted. Not a single friend taken for granted… and I am deeply thankful.

Faith
I’m living a lot of my life these days on sheer faith. My motto has been, for many years, “Everything happens for a reason.”

Within the last couple of years, that fact has shown itself to be true time and time again. And sheer faith and belief that it’ll all be okay has come true. I truly and strongly believe in a greater being. I believe in God. And he’s stepped in and held my hand a lot. And for that… I could never say Thank you enough. All I can do is give credit where credit is due… and God and my faith in Him has been a big part of getting through the trying times we all find ourselves going through today.

So this holiday season, I take a moment to focus on three things:

- my family.

- my friends.

- my faith,

Happy Thanksgiving, all!

In six days, I will be attending my 10 Year Class Reunion. In these days, I will take the opportunity to look back on ten of my favorite elements of high school (in no particular order of importance)…

#6 – Life outside school

High school days do indeed always seem to focus on what happens within the confines of “high school life.” But as I look back on those four years, I see many things in my personal life — life outside of school — that changed dramatically.

* My brother got married. November 1995.

Wedding Party

My first semester of high school, my older brother got married. Definitely a transition for me! He’d gone to technical school out of high school, so its not like he’d never been away from home. But it was still going to prove to be a big change. He had been that one dear friend that had always been there my whole life. Believe it or not, he and I really never — or at least very rarely — fought like most siblings do. We had a mutual respect and admiration from the beginning.

Now, he’d never be across the house any more, and in that respect I was a little sad that day. However, in my heart I knew he was starting a new chapter of his life, and I was genuinely happy for him… for them both!

The wedding was beautiful, and the day a blur. It was my first time being a bridesmaid, and I was still a newbie to high heels. THAT could have been a disaster, but thankfully all went smoothly. Many wonderful memories exist from that day, and I cherish them all.

The long and short of it all, though, my family changed right after my high school career started. And I wouldn’t trade that change for anything…

* My first concert, Fan Fair, & Nashville. 1997.

Fan Fair 1997 -- (Clockwise rom top left) At the Country Music Hall of Fame; Me and Mom in from the the Ryman; Me and Michigan J Frog -- the WB was brand new; Me and Bryan White

My Sophomore year, I dipped my toes into what would eventually become my whole life… only I didn’t know it then.

On Feb. 14, 1997, a friend and I went to see Thrasher Shiver, Ricochet and Bryan White. I admit. I was one of those girls who was madly in love with Bryan White, and I was on cloud nine the whole night. On top of it all, I had scored floor seats. We were only maybe 15 rows from the stage. I had a BLAST and was pretty much hooked.

That summer, my parents and I made the trip to Nashville to attend Fan Fair. My very first visit to Nashville, and we all remember my saying, “Wow, I feel like I just came home. I’m going to live here some day.”

What do you know? I do now!

The funny thing is, there are big parts of Nashville I just don’t remember. We drove down Broadway, and we went to the Ryman. I remember the Ryman but not Broadway. Fan Fair was still held out at the fair grounds, which I thought was fantastic. It was all centrally located, and easy to go from the live shows all day to the booths. I laugh now as I go through photos from those days… the people that I snapped photos of that I now know personally. Or the ones that were so big back then that are now long ago forgotten.

I stood in line for hours on end to meet Bryan White! We took a tour of homes, and we saw where multiple stars lived at that time. I remember being enthralled with tour buses. Today? A bus is a bus, and my husband co-drives them.

My how times changed. I guess you could say, though, that the trip to Nashville was a glimpse into the future, and on some level I knew that. But had you asked me seriously that last night before we drove home, and we sat in the audience of the Grand Ole Opry, “Will you be watching your husband on that stage some day, while standing backstage?” I’d have laughed and said no…

…and I’d have been wrong.

* My nephew was born. October 1997.

I was a proud aunt

First comes love. Then comes marriage. Then come baby in a baby carriage!

Stands to reason that after my brother got married my freshman year, that there would be a good chance I’d have a niece or nephew by the time I graduated. Sure enough, fall of my Junior year, my nephew made his appearance to this world.

Now, he came into this world early. Premature, he was smaller than the Elmo doll that sat in his baby bed. He spent weeks of his life in NICU where family could come visit after putting on a gown and scrubbing up carefully. He started day one of his life fighting. He started day one as the light of many of our lives.

I still remember New Years Eve 1998. My parents and I baby sat him for the night, and he had to wear a heart monitor around his little chest. If it shifted too much, it would go off with a beep that would make him stir.

We eventually opted to take the monitor off so he could sleep, but I remember hardly sleeping a wink. I was constantly getting up to check on him. I could watch him sleep for hours and never get tired of it. A living and breathing miracle from God.

Family photo -- Christmas 1997

To fast forward a little past high school years, around age four or five, he was diagnosed with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. He’ll never play sports, and while he can still walk, he has a wheelchair to use when he gets too tired and sore to walk anymore. Swimming, go-cart riding and fishing are among his favorite activities. He’s a Tenderfoot in Boy Scouts, and he just started to play saxophone in the band. He’s a straight-A student.

He is my biggest hero. Like I said, from Day One he entered this world as a fighter. And fought he has. He gets frustrated when he trips and falls. And I know he probably gets picked on at school now and then. He never lets it get him down. He’s a local spokesman for MDA, and this weekend he’s appearing on the telethon.

He teaches everyone he knows about Muscular Dystrophy and MDA. But more than that… he teaches everyone to not give up. To keep your head up. That just because you can’t do one thing, it doesn’t mean give up. It means find that thing you are good at, and give that thing your all.

I really believe God never gives us more than we can handle. And my nephew handles something this big with such grace and optimism… he’s one of the strongest people I know.  Him… his mom… his dad… his sister. I admire them more than they will ever know.

* My grandpa passed away. December 1997.

Me, Grandpa, Mom

My grandma on my mom’s side passed away long before I was born. So growing up, I only knew my grandparents on my dad’s side, and then Grandpa on my mom’s side. So, don’t think it weird when I say that in December 1997, I lost my first grandparent.

This was a man that rode a bicycle around town into at least his 70s. I remember going to visit him and my brother and I would get softballs, baseball, tennis balls, golf balls, whatever we wanted that he had collected on his travels through town. We would go every few weekends and take Grandpa to church, then go out to eat. It was a nice familial routine we had for years. I miss that sometimes still today.

Grandpa had been in a nursing home for awhile already and his health started to go downhill in ‘97. He had already beaten throat cancer, and when he passed away at 91 he could say he had lived a life of hard work.

Somewhere, a photo does exist of my grandpa, my mom, my brother and my nephew… four generations together. We were lucky to get that photo, as my nephew was only two months old when Grandpa passed away.

Death is never easy, but its a part of life. There are many people who have never had to deal with a loved one passing away, and while they are very lucky… I think that’s a key lesson in life that needs to be learned. It helps to respect life and to cherish every day… every hour… every minute we have with our loved ones.

If I had time and ability to write a blog entry every time one came to me, this blog would be updated about five times a day versus once a week at best. This realization truly frustrates me and makes me realize that I need to MAKE time to write more often.

Time is money they say.

Words are cheap others say.

These opposing ideals are what seem to be holding me back. And this must change.

Recent topic ideas: new discoveries in my city (I finally visiting the Bluebird Cafe and fell in love with it just as I feared I would), family coming to visit (my brother will never know how much it meant to me to have him and his family come up this summer), roots and wings, and anniversaries of important events.

Perhaps I will go back and revisit some of these topics at another time. But for tonight, I lament the fact that I’ve let these words expire as time flew past. And I realize once again that the dreams I dream mean I need to marry those two old cliches.

Time is money. Words take time. And in my case. Words are money. And every word I write. Every sentence I compose. They all lead me down the path to my dreams of writing for a living.

When I was in high school and college, I used to joke that I was “a tax season orphan.” Today, my husband could rightfully call himself “a tax season widower.”

My parents have owned their own bookkeeping and tax preparation business for over 20 years. It’s perhaps pretty obvious and natural that I’d work for them through the years, and despite the fact that I majored in Journalism (and my passion lies in the arts) I continue to work the family business. And I truly do enjoy the work I do for them. It can really be a lot of fun!

The last few years, my work time has been focused on that final push of the season. The time when we have people in and out of the office constantly, and the time when the most returns are being completed a day. This year, I’ve alternated three weeks in Texas, one/two weeks in Nashville, then back to Texas another three weeks. I arrived back this last weekend to finish out the season.

Meanwhile, I am actively planning Muster for the Middle-Tennessee A&M Club. Everything, so far, seems to be falling into place beautifully. Which, I admit, makes me a little nervous. When it all falls together this well, I don’t feel as prepared for any “disasters” that could occur the day-of the event. Then again, I feel like I’m getting really good at planning things, so maybe its falling together just because its becoming old-hat to me? Who knows. Nonetheless, I am VERY excited for it all. I so love the tradition of Muster. It is without a doubt my favorite tradition of them all.

Easter is approaching!! I’m excited Craig will be down to spend it with us. THAT will make the day complete. Counting down for it, for sure.

The warmer temperatures of Spring are already making me itch for Summer. Actually, I wouldn’t mind skipping Spring just to avoid the tornado outbreaks that have already begun. I may have grown up dealing with them, but I will never be used to it. How can you be? They’re terrifying, how random they are.

But as I said, summer is approaching and that means… Craig will be on road a majority of the time. I get home in time for him to head out for work. That’s just the way it lands… bummer! We’ll make the most of our time as we have it, of course. We always say that we appreciate our time together more due to all the time apart, and we most definitely do. We don’t LIKE being apart as much as we are, but we make it work. It’s just the way our life rolls.

And honestly… I love my life. More than I can say.