Musician's Widow

In two days, I will be attending my 10 Year Class Reunion. In these days, I will take the opportunity to look back on ten of my favorite elements of high school (in no particular order of importance)…

#2 – Graduation

Thirteen years had lead to that night.

Kindergarten at St. Monica’s. First and second grade at Ben Milam Elementary. Third through fifth at Ada Henderson. Junior high at O.J. Thomas. Finally Yoe High School.

Hours of classes. Hours of homework. All the organizations. All the events. The love. The pride. The friendships that would fade. The friendships that would last a lifetime.

It all culminated on May 29, 1999 at 8:00 pm on Yoe High School Athletic Field when we stood for one last time as one unit. We were and are the Class of 1999.

The day of graduation started with practice both on the field and in the gymnasium (in case of rain). We came really close to having to be in the gym, as I remember the sky having a distinctly greenish tinge to it, as storms churned and billowed in the area.

I sat ranked 13th in my class. I would be heading off to Temple College in the fall, followed by Texas A&M University in College Station. I would soon be a member of the Fightin’ Texas Aggie Class of 2003, along with many of my Yoe High classmates. We had future Texas Longhorns and Southwest Texas Bobcats. Baylor Bears and Texas Tech Red Raiders.  Some would be going straight into the work force. Others would be getting ready to start families.

My Senior Portraits - 1999

However in that moment, in that place and time, we were all on the same page. The whole world and our lives ahead of us. We were jumping off into it with the safety net of our education but without any guarantees. However, we had in our hands, inside the maroon leather cover, our high school diplomas. And that was enough.

I think everyone in my class will agree that one of the most memorable parts of the night was our salutatorian reading Dr. Seuss’ “Oh The Place You’ll Go.” We had the oldest daughter of our school board president in our class, and I remember her hugging her dad when she got her diploma.  We sang “On Yoe High” one last time. We turned our tassels and stood poised to dash across the field.

As the night ended, we knew not what the future held. And somehow, it didn’t matter. We’d done it. We’d made it to our graduation night. We had something to celebrate.

Friends and classmates forever...

Friends and family swarmed the field. Pictures were taken and there were hugs and tears. Most of my class went on to Senior Celebration that night after graduation. I opted to celebrate at home with family. I also had obligations at church early the very next morning, so I skipped my class party. Therefore, when I look back on graduation, I realize that it was the last time I saw and spoke to many of my classmates.

These people were a constant for me. I had stood beside them. I had learned beside them. I had played with and relied upon them for the last thirteen years. Suddenly, that would no longer happen. I was excited for my future. But I also mourned the loss of these relationships.

I look back upon that night as a huge turning point in life. It was a step from something familiar out into the great unknown of life.

Life is a still a great unknown… but my educations (high school and college,  the practical, social and academic) have given me the tools to navigate through it, one challenge, failure and success at a time.

Yoe High Class of 1999 -- There were freaks and hippies in my high school // Football players all tryin’ to be cool // And everybody scramblin’ to hide their beer // When the cops drove by ‘til the coast was clear // Kids fallin’ in and out of love // On the hood of Chevys, in the beds of trucks // We were stumblin’ our way through life ‘til our senior year

In three days, I will be attending my 10 Year Class Reunion. In these days, I will take the opportunity to look back on ten of my favorite elements of high school (in no particular order of importance)…

#3 – Prom

Prom 1998 & 1999

Prom is one of those events in a high school career that you look forward to starting around the time you can say the word “prom.” Or at least it was for me. A night to get all dressed up and go out for what promised to be a magical evening.

In reality, was it magical? Maybe not so much. It was, however, a lot of fun.

In my high school, prom was for Juniors and Seniors. The Junior class hosted the prom, and the Seniors were the special guests of the night. Neither year did I have a date, instead I went out a group of girlfriends for the night.

Our Junior year, we loaded up and went out to eat prior to going to the prom. My parents loaned us their Grand Marquis to drive for the night, and we road in leather seat luxury.

After wards, we all spent the night at one of the girls’ parent’s house. We made a night of it! Prom followed by a big slumber party.

Our Senior year, due to timing issues (mostly my having UIL competition that same day), we opted to have dinner after prom.

The year before, we’d been late arriving, and we agreed the most fun of the night had really been the beginning: the grand march. And then, of course, you wanted to get your prom picture taken early when you still looked your best.

I have to give it to the Class of 2000… they did a fantastic job decorating the VFW where we held prom. Looking back, I do think they did a better job hosting prom than my class did. (Just my personal opinion, of course.) We were late to our dinner reservations, because we were having too much fun to leave prom!

Dinner was wonderful, though, and after wards we headed to another friend’s house for our “slumber party.” Our biggest giggle of the night had to be the flat tire we got on our way home. We had to wait for help to come as none of us could see ourselves trying to change a tire in long dresses, hair and nails done.

But we eventually made it to the post-party, and our night ended quietly tucked away in an upstairs den fast asleep surrounded by the friends we’d hold forever in hearts.

Prom is generally considered a night for couples. For me, it was a night of best friends, prom dresses, and snap shots of memories that will last a lifetime.

Friendships & Prom Memories

In four days, I will be attending my 10 Year Class Reunion. In these days, I will take the opportunity to look back on ten of my favorite elements of high school (in no particular order of importance)…

#4 – Journalism: Yearbook & Newspaper

The Yoeman Arrow -- Our school newspaper. I served as Editor of the paper for a couple years.

In eighth grade, we signed up for classes for our freshman year of high school. Most of the classes were a given. The core classes and several of the electives were set in stone ahead of time. However, I had one class period left to fill. What to take? What to take?

I saw a choice for Journalism, and the actual thought through my brain: “That should be an easy A…”

No one told me if would change my life.

Within weeks of taking my first Journalism course, my whole life plan went from being a teacher some day to being a journalist. I devoured every lesson. I found a talent for the writing style. My successes in UIL Journalism competitions fueled my fire. By the end of my freshman year, I had a feature article appear in the school newspaper, and I was officially hooked for good.

I was on the yearbook and newspaper staff for the next three years, and I eventually took over as editor of the newspaper. My time and work in the journalism department was without a doubt the time spent making strides for my future. I worked closely with the editor of my town’s newspaper, and I have to say that he taught me techniques that I rely on still today.

I spent hours of time outside of school working on the newspaper. My Senior year, I took the newspaper from being a single page in the local newspaper, to a two page tab-style insert. I would literally lock myself in my bedroom for a full weekend composing the newspaper in QuarkXPress, editing photos in Photoshop. My teacher/sponsor would critique the paper after it was printed, and I would learn more from those critiques that I would have had someone sat down and showed me what to do. Often, you learn more from your mistakes than from your successes.

My yearbooks

My best friend was editor of the yearbook, and I worked closely with her to turn out that project as well. Hours would be spent in school working to make page deadlines. We would meet during the summer to proof pages as they came back from the publisher. A handful of us would oversee Senior portraits just before school started each year.

Advertising sales, layouts, and deadlines were all common to those of us who really gave the yearbook and newspaper the attention and dedication it required to produce a quality product.

I was given a crash course in using the school’s cameras to be a backup photographer when we needed one. Boy things would have been easier had digital photography been as common as it is today! Nonetheless, I think that this is when my interest in photography really got a spark.

I had two amazing Journalism teachers in my four years of high school. They really pushed me and fueled my fire. Due to the magic of email and Facebook, I’m still in touch with both of them today. I hope they know how much of an impact they had on me, because had it not been for them I would probably not be writing this today. I would probably not be pursuing a dream of making writing a profitable career for myself. I would be a different person… and while that would probably be great as well, I’m REALLY happy to be who and where I am now.

And it all started by checking the box beside “Journalism” under electives in eighth grade.

The purpose of the ARROW is…

Acquaint students with Yoe traditions and ideals.
Report school news fairly and impartially.
Render support for scholastic standards.
Offer aid and information to its readers.
Work for the betterment of Yoe High School.

In five days, I will be attending my 10 Year Class Reunion. In these days, I will take the opportunity to look back on ten of my favorite elements of high school (in no particular order of importance)…

#5 – Wheels

My Old Parking Tags

A big thing every teenager thinks about when they enter high school: DRIVING!

I was no different. I was excited to sign up for drivers ed when I was a freshman. The first semester I had Health class, and then second semester was Drivers Ed. I’ll be honest, I don’t remember much about “in class” study. I do remember the simulators, though!

They were older, and half the simulator units didn’t quite work right. But you still got the effect of driving a vehicle, and honestly the lessons learned in that trailer as we pretended to drive are the ones that stuck with me most. I still think of that simulator any time I look before changing lanes! (And, personally, I think a lot of drivers today could use a few hours in a simulator course to go over some basic driving laws and rules.)

I passed my written exam in one try, and I was ecstatic to have my learners permit in hand.

I was one of the first to have summer driving. We had to complete a certain number of hours in a car (with a teacher) driving and then observing. So, we were paired up with a fellow student to do our driving. I actually did my summer driving before school had even let out for summer!  I have to confess that I passed parallel parking thanks to the passenger break my instructor had at his disposal. However, everything else came down to just good practice behind the wheel. As with many things, the more you practice, the better you do, and I do think those hours summer driving were important. (Sidebar: I sometimes wonder if our teenagers today are getting enough practical experience behind the wheel before being let loose on our highways and interstates?)

On my 16th birthday, even though technically I wasn’t supposed to do it that way, I got my Dad to sign me out of school to go get my driver’s license. I was so excited, and I didn’t want to wait until after school!!! It only took maybe fifteen minutes, but it made me feel like a million dollars.

* 1989 Ford Taurus.

My first car getting a bath at a Flag Corp fundraiser in 1997.

The first vehicle I drove to school was my dad’s black Ford F-150 Supercab truck. However, that only lasted about a week before I had my first car: a 1989 Ford Taurus.

I loved that car. Some of my favorite memories of that car include:

– going to sell advertising for the yearbook. All my friends and I piled into the car and went on our way. I missed my turn one afternoon, and instead of going around the block I insisted on going about two blocks in reverse to catch the correct turn.

It was a small town. You could do stuff like that there.

– it being weather central before Baccalaureate and Graduation ceremonies in which tornado watches and warnings kept popping up all around us. I was parked right beside the band hall, and about fifteen people (including band directors!) crowded around my car as we listened to the weather reports.

– listening to CDs on my portable CD player thanks to the cassette tape adapter. I had quite the CD collection by then, but (as per my last blog entry) Bryan White was what you could usually hear being piped out of my speakers.

When it came time to sell that car, I was very sad to see it go. I grew quite attached to that car! It was my first ride, and like your first love… you never forget it.

One of my final memories of the car was when the back window got busted out due to a flying rock when the lot it sat on for sale was being mowed. One of the best things about the car was the rear-window defrost, but the price of putting one back in was just too much. So, it was replaced with a regular back window, and I think it eventually went to an auto auction to be sold. Nonetheless, it was gone after it had already been replaced…

Red... my beloved truck that my brother and I squabble over who is going to own some day

* 1983 Ford F-150.
You can buy anything at Wal-Mart, you know. It’s where my second vehicle was purchased, after all!

When I was little, I would always talk about how much I wanted “a red and white truck.” I still remember one sat outside of a house we drove by every morning on the way to school when I was in elementary school. I would stare at it longingly. Some day, I wanted a red and white truck.

Fast forward several years and my parents noticed a truck for sale in the Wal-Mart parking lot, and the decided to call to inquire about it. It turned out to be a good deal, and after being looked over by my brother (who is an ASE certified mechanic) and given a thumbs up, my dad brought it home for me to drive.

I admit to being a little nervous the first time I drove it to school! Going from a low profile sedan to a long-bed pick-up truck was a transition! But its also one I have never turned away from to this day.

That truck still sits at my parents house, and my brother and I regularly banter over who is going to own it some day. I say I get first dibs, because it was mine in high school! Time will tell, of course, but one thing time has not changed: I love that truck.

Red freshly repainted (except for the inside of the bed, obviously) -- 2007

I was a Junior when my brother took it and we got dual exhaust put on it. Straight out the back was my request, and boy did it purr with a low rumble once it was done. I still remember when a guy in one of my classes asked me why I got dual exhaust put on my truck. I was pretty baffled… why WOULDN’T I get it done?? It needed a new exhaust system anyway. Why not go all out and make it — excuse me — bad ass!?

That truck has a personality all its own, that’s for sure. It smells like an old truck on the inside. I love the click of the doors when you open them. The sliding rear glass, and the high beam switch on the floor. The interior light that only turns on after you hit the ceiling just right. I had to put a new radio in it, and I scored speakers for behind the seat so it would thump.

Right out of high school, the truck needed a new transmission, which was an adventure in and of itself. It had to have the top repainted, and since then the paint has been refreshed a second time. I eventually moved on to new models of the F-150 for safety features (a 2000, 2002, 2003, 2005 and 2007 to be exact over time… one of those died in an auto accident and the rest due to being a lease and my decision to move up when the mileage got too high for the lease.) However, that 1983 remains my favorite of all the vehicles I’ve ever driven. I drove it to my high school graduation. I drove it to my first day of college.  It definitely drove me to many important events and changes in high school… heck, in my life.

I had an old beat up Ford pick-up truck
That I drove around when I was 18
And I must confess though I tried my best
That old bed in the back was only used for hauling leaves
I was a nerd back then
I’m still nerd right now
Some things never change.
– Some Things Never Change by Tyler Flowers

In six days, I will be attending my 10 Year Class Reunion. In these days, I will take the opportunity to look back on ten of my favorite elements of high school (in no particular order of importance)…

#6 – Life outside school

High school days do indeed always seem to focus on what happens within the confines of “high school life.” But as I look back on those four years, I see many things in my personal life — life outside of school — that changed dramatically.

* My brother got married. November 1995.

Wedding Party

My first semester of high school, my older brother got married. Definitely a transition for me! He’d gone to technical school out of high school, so its not like he’d never been away from home. But it was still going to prove to be a big change. He had been that one dear friend that had always been there my whole life. Believe it or not, he and I really never — or at least very rarely — fought like most siblings do. We had a mutual respect and admiration from the beginning.

Now, he’d never be across the house any more, and in that respect I was a little sad that day. However, in my heart I knew he was starting a new chapter of his life, and I was genuinely happy for him… for them both!

The wedding was beautiful, and the day a blur. It was my first time being a bridesmaid, and I was still a newbie to high heels. THAT could have been a disaster, but thankfully all went smoothly. Many wonderful memories exist from that day, and I cherish them all.

The long and short of it all, though, my family changed right after my high school career started. And I wouldn’t trade that change for anything…

* My first concert, Fan Fair, & Nashville. 1997.

Fan Fair 1997 -- (Clockwise rom top left) At the Country Music Hall of Fame; Me and Mom in from the the Ryman; Me and Michigan J Frog -- the WB was brand new; Me and Bryan White

My Sophomore year, I dipped my toes into what would eventually become my whole life… only I didn’t know it then.

On Feb. 14, 1997, a friend and I went to see Thrasher Shiver, Ricochet and Bryan White. I admit. I was one of those girls who was madly in love with Bryan White, and I was on cloud nine the whole night. On top of it all, I had scored floor seats. We were only maybe 15 rows from the stage. I had a BLAST and was pretty much hooked.

That summer, my parents and I made the trip to Nashville to attend Fan Fair. My very first visit to Nashville, and we all remember my saying, “Wow, I feel like I just came home. I’m going to live here some day.”

What do you know? I do now!

The funny thing is, there are big parts of Nashville I just don’t remember. We drove down Broadway, and we went to the Ryman. I remember the Ryman but not Broadway. Fan Fair was still held out at the fair grounds, which I thought was fantastic. It was all centrally located, and easy to go from the live shows all day to the booths. I laugh now as I go through photos from those days… the people that I snapped photos of that I now know personally. Or the ones that were so big back then that are now long ago forgotten.

I stood in line for hours on end to meet Bryan White! We took a tour of homes, and we saw where multiple stars lived at that time. I remember being enthralled with tour buses. Today? A bus is a bus, and my husband co-drives them.

My how times changed. I guess you could say, though, that the trip to Nashville was a glimpse into the future, and on some level I knew that. But had you asked me seriously that last night before we drove home, and we sat in the audience of the Grand Ole Opry, “Will you be watching your husband on that stage some day, while standing backstage?” I’d have laughed and said no…

…and I’d have been wrong.

* My nephew was born. October 1997.

I was a proud aunt

First comes love. Then comes marriage. Then come baby in a baby carriage!

Stands to reason that after my brother got married my freshman year, that there would be a good chance I’d have a niece or nephew by the time I graduated. Sure enough, fall of my Junior year, my nephew made his appearance to this world.

Now, he came into this world early. Premature, he was smaller than the Elmo doll that sat in his baby bed. He spent weeks of his life in NICU where family could come visit after putting on a gown and scrubbing up carefully. He started day one of his life fighting. He started day one as the light of many of our lives.

I still remember New Years Eve 1998. My parents and I baby sat him for the night, and he had to wear a heart monitor around his little chest. If it shifted too much, it would go off with a beep that would make him stir.

We eventually opted to take the monitor off so he could sleep, but I remember hardly sleeping a wink. I was constantly getting up to check on him. I could watch him sleep for hours and never get tired of it. A living and breathing miracle from God.

Family photo -- Christmas 1997

To fast forward a little past high school years, around age four or five, he was diagnosed with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. He’ll never play sports, and while he can still walk, he has a wheelchair to use when he gets too tired and sore to walk anymore. Swimming, go-cart riding and fishing are among his favorite activities. He’s a Tenderfoot in Boy Scouts, and he just started to play saxophone in the band. He’s a straight-A student.

He is my biggest hero. Like I said, from Day One he entered this world as a fighter. And fought he has. He gets frustrated when he trips and falls. And I know he probably gets picked on at school now and then. He never lets it get him down. He’s a local spokesman for MDA, and this weekend he’s appearing on the telethon.

He teaches everyone he knows about Muscular Dystrophy and MDA. But more than that… he teaches everyone to not give up. To keep your head up. That just because you can’t do one thing, it doesn’t mean give up. It means find that thing you are good at, and give that thing your all.

I really believe God never gives us more than we can handle. And my nephew handles something this big with such grace and optimism… he’s one of the strongest people I know.  Him… his mom… his dad… his sister. I admire them more than they will ever know.

* My grandpa passed away. December 1997.

Me, Grandpa, Mom

My grandma on my mom’s side passed away long before I was born. So growing up, I only knew my grandparents on my dad’s side, and then Grandpa on my mom’s side. So, don’t think it weird when I say that in December 1997, I lost my first grandparent.

This was a man that rode a bicycle around town into at least his 70s. I remember going to visit him and my brother and I would get softballs, baseball, tennis balls, golf balls, whatever we wanted that he had collected on his travels through town. We would go every few weekends and take Grandpa to church, then go out to eat. It was a nice familial routine we had for years. I miss that sometimes still today.

Grandpa had been in a nursing home for awhile already and his health started to go downhill in ’97. He had already beaten throat cancer, and when he passed away at 91 he could say he had lived a life of hard work.

Somewhere, a photo does exist of my grandpa, my mom, my brother and my nephew… four generations together. We were lucky to get that photo, as my nephew was only two months old when Grandpa passed away.

Death is never easy, but its a part of life. There are many people who have never had to deal with a loved one passing away, and while they are very lucky… I think that’s a key lesson in life that needs to be learned. It helps to respect life and to cherish every day… every hour… every minute we have with our loved ones.

In seven days, I will be attending my 10 Year Class Reunion. In these days, I will take the opportunity to look back on ten of my favorite elements of high school (in no particular order of importance)…

#7 – Miscellaneous Organizations

My letter from my jacket

* FTA :: When I was in second grade, I had this INCREDIBLE teacher who made a huge impact on me. I had, for years, said I was going to be a teacher when I grew up, but it was in second grade that I decided I would teach second grade. I wanted to be just like my teacher that year.

Then in fourth grade, my class had this awesome student teacher from the high school come over now and then who told me all about Future Teachers of America — an organization in high school for future teachers — and who said that if I was truly that passionate about being a teacher, I would need to be a member.

Well, we can all tell how my life took a whole different path, and I am not a teacher. I could still become one some day, but as for right now, its only peripherally on my radar. Despite my career goals changing in high school, I became a member of FTA, and actually served as president of it for a couple years.

I’m sad to say that FTA didn’t really do much. All I can really recall doing is having a few guest speakers at meetings and heading up the Toys for Kids campaign at Christmas in conjunction with the local car dealer. Then in the Spring, Senior members would go to the elementary school and student teach a class for a day. (If I recall correctly, my Senior year, I was assigned a first grade class for a day.)

Despite the lack of activities, I am still quick to point out that I was a member all four years of high school with the organization. It meant a lot to me. Still does.

My FHA/HERO pin

* FHA :: I think somewhere along the line, FHA grew to have too much of a stereotype of being specifically for women who, literally, just wanted to be homemakers. In fact, this stereotype can be best found in the fact that “FHA” technically does not exist any more… instead today called FCCLA: Family, Career, and Community Leaders of America. A change that, as best I can tell, occurred effective Sept. 1, 1999. (Once again, my class seems to have been the last one to slide through before a change.)

Despite the “homemakers” moniker, this organization (much like the Homemaking class — which, by the way, does ANYONE still have the recipe for Chocolate Chip Cookies we made in that class… those were the BEST!) was about more than cooking, sewing and home decorating. It touched on careers. It touched on finances. It didn’t care about race, age or sex. It was all-inclusive, and its an organization I am still proud to say I was a member.

My Sophomore year, I held office in FHA, and that offered me the opportunity to attend an FHA conference in College Station one weekend. While I remember nothing about the conference, I clearly remember riding the elevator the night before hoping to run into Little Richard, who was rumored to be staying at the same hotel we were. I also remember at dinner playing the game, “Who would play you in a movie about your life?” Someone suggested Julia Roberts for me. Anyone buying that one???

Okay, so sometimes the best memories are not necessarily about the organization… sometimes they are about the events that occur thanks to being a member of that organization.

* Christian Club :: It was a time in which prayer was being yanked out of schools. At football games, prayer was replaced with a moment of silence. Meet Me At The Pole was beginning to get national attention as a questionable thing to hold on a public school campus. It was a time in which I was a proud member of Christian Club.

Christian Club met every Tuesday during lunch (we had an open campus and could leave for lunch) at the Lutheran Church a few blocks from the school. Every week a church would donate sandwiches and chips, and a local religious leader would give a talk — consider it a mini-sermon, if you will.

Many were members were simply there to have a free meal. Others, though, took the club seriously and respected what was taught during that lunch hour. I still look back on those lunches fondly, knowing that it was my freedom of religion that allowed me to attend. And knowing it was one time in which people of all faiths came together with one thing in mind: faith in God.

Newly inducted NHS members -- 1996

* National Honor Society :: I proudly wore the NHS collar on graduation day. I had earned it.

NHS was not just about having good grades. NHS was also about community involvement. It was an organization that you could not be a member of in name only. You had to work for it. A certain number of community service hours had to be completed each month. Regular club projects were held. It demanded a certain level of character to be a member.

I did my community service, much like a vast majority of members, volunteering at the local public library. Each month I had to work a certain number of hours after school — shelving books, straightening book shelves, and doing whatever task the librarian had for me that day. This could get pretty hard to do in the busy months between band practice, UIL competitions, assignment deadlines, and other activities. I somehow pulled it off every month, though. And I must admit, I have a LOT of respect for libraries and their employees after that!!

One of our biggest projects each year was when NHS members had a “play day” and picnic with students in Special Education. Those picnics put a LOT into perspective for everyone, and it left me feeling really good at the end of the day. It taught me to be grateful for all my natural blessings. It taught compassion and respect. It gave wonder and love for a fellow human, a fellow student.

So often our Special Education students are locked away and hidden from sight. Our brightest, fastest, prettiest, and most popular take the spotlight time and time again. The picnic made those Special Education students stand out in the spotlight for the day and showed them to truly be special… showed them to need and deserve our love and respect.

All organizations taught lessons that couldn’t be taught in the classroom. Its in that fact that I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to be a member of so many organizations and activities.